Shards And Ashes
by Master Isabella
Summary: Dimitri Belikov takes Tasha's offer, leaving Rose and the St. Vladimir gates behind. Rose will do anything to get him back, but from the looks of it, Dimitri is happy. So when Rose decides she is going to break away from the academy, and Lissa, she takes an offer to be guardian to a high-class family living up in the Montana mountains. But things never go as planned.
1. Chapter One

**Author's Note: Before you begin reading, thanks for clicking on my story. It takes place a little while after 'Frostbite'. Favorite/Follow/Review. :)**

* * *

I drag my feet through the gravel sidewalk. No birds are singing and I doubt any Moroi are awake during these hours. Speaking of hours, it's early. Like, really early. I guess I have Dimitri to thank for that, seeing as he wanted to practice earlier than usual. I tiptoe past buildings, most of them giving off sleepy vibes. If it weren't Dimitri asking, I wouldn't have even gotten open for the occasion. But since it is him, I will do anything to see his gorgeous face. Lately I have been in an upside-down schedule with overdue homework and dealing with Lissa. God, Lissa. I don't even want to talk about her. Everything is Christian this or Christian that. I can't exactly handle Christian all the time.

The gym lights lit up before me. I groan, unable to handle the bright lights when I am so used to the dark sky. I open the door and walk in, managing to keep my eyes squinted as I make my way towards the bench where Dimitri sits. In his hand is, of course, a western novel.

I sigh. "Why so early?"

Dimitri looks up, as if just noticing my presence. "Well, we have much to discuss."

"Yeah," I say, "About what exactly?" I look around the gymnasium and spot a few dummies. "Other than staking."

"Strategies too, Rose," His accent so faint. "In battle, you have to have a strategy ready."

I scoff. "No. You 'have' to have a stake and strength. Strategies are, like, ten percent of the problem."

"Don't be so rational, Rose."

That shuts me up, which didn't happen often. I let out a low scowl, then slowly make my way into the locker room. As I am changing into sweatpants and a tank top, I think about our short conversation. He seemed too serious, especially when I didn't exactly say anything wrong. Besides, how could I act so normal when it was 6 o'clock in the freaking morning!

Once I was changed into clothes that helped me maneuver around better, I walk out into the gym where Dimitri is readying himself for our next session. I quickly pull my hair up into a messy doughnut bun and walk up to him.

"Ready, Comrade?" I ask, stretching my arms out above my head.

Dimitri shows that faint smile that I always itch to see. "I'm always ready, Roza."

My heart skips a beat at the saying of Dimitri's nickname for me. "All right, I'm sure you are."

"I am." He says, a bit challenging. "Know your enemy, Rose."

I plop down on the cushion mat. "Who's my enemy then?"

"Strigoi, like always," Dimitri says, that serious tone back in his voice. "And right about now, I'm one of them."

He grabs me by the arm, throwing a stunned me to the ground. His touch is electrifying against my skin, and I soak it up as much as I can. He hovers above me, his dark brown eyes close to my face, but the distance is just perfect enough for me to see his face. I try not be obvious, but it is hard to. What can I say? He always has a way of taking my breath away, without ever knowing it.

"I win," he says emotionless.

I smirk and say, "yes, you win."

He holds out his hand and I take his offer. He pulls me up from the ground and turns away. I watch his duster swivel around with him.

"Focus," he says as he turns back to me.

I nod and say, "Sorry, I'm tired."

He sighs. "Tired, huh?" I nod. "Not a morning person either?" I nod again. He laughs.

"Hey!" I say defensively. "I can be a morning person."

"I'm sure you can, Rose. I'm sure you can."

He gets in a fighting stance and I take my place opposite of him. When he is ready, he nods and I lunge forward. I swiftly throw my hand and end up hitting his hip. He barely flinches. I grab my stake, trying to get a good sight of his rib cage, but it's hard. He's in an impossible place, so I try to maneuver around, pushing up then crouching. Finally, there's a quick glimpse of his chest. I take that chance, and shove my fake stake close to his heart, tilted, so it misses his rib cage. He nods, impressed with my work. I feel excited, full of adrenaline.

"Very good, Rose." He says, his eyes twinkling. "You're im-"

"Dimka!" The familiar voice of Tasha interrupts him. I turn to look at Christian's aunt walking towards us.

I slouched my shoulders, not knowing whether he was going to say "You're improving." or "You're impressing me.". Dimitri smiles and walks towards Tasha, leaving me with a stake in my hand while awkwardly standing around.

"Tasha, what are you doing here?" He says. "It's early. Like-"

"Six thirty-two." I show them the digital watch on my wrist. Dimitri nods and turns back to Tasha. I growl, low enough to where they can't hear me. I get up this early and Dimitri doesn't even train me long. . .

Dimitri and Tasha exchange low whispers. I move forward when they aren't looking, hearing bits and pieces of their conversation. I don't pick up much, other than 'your', 'Be,' and more. Finally, when I'm about to go back into the locker room and change, Dimitri turns to me.

"We'll be cutting this short, Rose," he says to me. "We'll meet again tomorrow. That good with you?"

I nod and grab my gym bag. "That's fine. I'll just meet up with Lissa for coffee."

Before anything else can be said, I run out of the gym and through the gardens of St. Vladimir's. I don't feel like thinking about Dimitri, so I just head towards Lissa's and walk in. The guy at the desk waves me by, so I keep going and walk up the steps. Lissa's room is quiet as I knock on it.

I knock a few more times before Lissa answers, her blonde hair perfect, even from hours of sleep. "Rose?"

"Of course it's me, " I answer and let myself in, passing her. "Anyways I. . . oh."

Christian sits on the edge of the bed, looking comfortable yet alert. Looks like a morning visit to Lissa. Surprise, surprise. I awkwardly stand in the middle of the room, glancing between Lissa and Christian.

"W-what are you doing here?" Lissa asks, a little groggy as she rubs her eyes.

"I thought, maybe, we could go get coffee before everyone wakes up. . ." St. Vladimir's has been on a different schedule lately, everything being on a different morning schedule and night schedule.

"Oh," Lissa says, looking at Christian. "Well. . . Christian and I were just about to go for a walk."

_You have _got_ to be kidding me__, _I think to myself, but end up saying, "oh, well I'll just go then."

Lissa holds out her hands to stop me. "Rose, please. If you really want-"

"It's fine," I say, even though it's really not.

"Are you sure?" She says. She was obviously unsure though, her facial expression showing it all.

"Yes," I reply.

"Really?"

"She said it's fine, Lissa." Christian breaks into our little talk.

I shoot him a look, then manage to slip out of her room. Behind me I hear the struggling grunts of the undecided Lissa. I don't let her say anything though; I just walk down and leave the building. By the time I get out, a few Moroi and dhampirs are strolling the grounds. I push past them, upset and all. Does everyone have to blow me off today? I decide to abandon any plans that I have and just work on some overdue work.

Maybe after a nap though. . .


	2. Chapter Two

I make my way through campus, ignoring anyone who is feeling social. I am late for class and don't feel like getting in trouble because of it. A few teachers are hanging around the grounds, yet I manage to avoid them completely. I wonder why they aren't, well, teaching. What makes getting to class even harder is every part of my body aches. Yesterday was a total mess, with Dimitri, Lissa, and all. I had decide to push all of that into the back of my mind and completely ignore them today as much as I can. Although it's hard to get rid of Dimitri since I have another training session with him. I only wish he would cancel.

Instead of worrying about class, I focus on the night sky, which is absolutely breath-taking. I guess that's one of the perks of living in the middle of Montana. The stars are visible in every direction. . . And the moon. God, that moon. If I wasn't late for class, I would sit down on the grass and throw aside everything else just to stare up at it.

It happens without me realizing what is going on. . .

Lissa's emotions tug me into her mind, something that I have yet to perfect. There are times when I can't get out of her mind, mostly when she's in jumble of feelings. And that's exactly the case. She isn't in class, which worries me. No, not in class. She's in the chapel of the church.

"Tell me why we're here?" She says, letting Christian lead her to the window.

Christian seats her in an old armchair, for which he bends down in front of her. His eyes the crystal blue eyes they always are. There's no mistaking he's an Ozera.

"Christian?" She asks, arching an eyebrow. "I have Basics of Elemental Control, like, now!"

"You don't even have an element that they know how to control. . ." He trails off with a long, lingering kiss. I am officially, totally disgusted. I try and pull myself out of her mind, but Lissa just pulls me back in.

She puts a hand on Christian's chest and pushes with barely any effort. "Christian, ple-" He kisses her again, and this time she drops her hand and begins kissing him back.

I feel everything Lissa feels. Her heart pounds, her breath is heavy, and everything inside her is in turmoil. The love for Christian is too much for her, and she gives herself over to any control she has left. They kiss again, this time harder and more powerful. I try again to get away, out of her mind. No success.

"Christian Ozera." She places a hand on his cheek as he pulls away. "I can't help but say. . . I'm in love with you."

Kill. Me. Now.

It's all I can take to not throw up while in her body. This time, when they begin to make out again, I pull myself out and back into my body.

"Ugh, Lissa," I put a hand to my head, the early signs of a headache beginning to show.

A voice behind me says, "tardy again, Miss Hathaway?"

I turn to see Headmistress Kirova. She wears her usual outfit and looks like the proper jerk she can be sometimes.

I frown. "Sorry, Headmistress Kirova. I was-"

"No, no," she says. "No excuses, please." She motions to the building behind me. "I would get a move on it."

"Right."

She looks at me for a few seconds with her eyes narrowed. "_Now_, please."

I nod and rush off to my class, which is Bodyguard Theory and Personal Protection 3. By the time I reach the room it is held in, the teacher has already started. I nod and make my way to my desk beside Eddie. He gives me a disapproving look as I sit down. Talk about serious. I sigh and sit down.

"Now," Stan Alto, the teacher, says, "as I was saying. . ."

* * *

Dimitri is late to training, so I take my stance in front of a dummy and start kicking and punching in all the right spots. Every time I hit the dummy, it slightly moves, then bounces back. They are really stable, even when I am fighting them. I stop, take a deep breath, then move on to the next one, hitting and jabbing it until I feel content with its condition.

I think about my meeting with Lissa's mind today. The very thought disgusts me, but I can't help but think about it. It was Christian and Lissa's fault that I got caught by Kirova. I mean, sure I was the one that was late, but if she hadn't sucked me into her body and made me experience things that I never wanted to. I shudder and continue with my training. I really hope by now that Lissa is in Basics of Elemental Control. Not off with Christian in a nasty old attic. If I could just shake her and make her wake up from the dream she is living in.

"Rose," Dimitri addresses me as he walks in, interrupting any further thoughts of Lissa.

I push them aside and give him a small smile. "Thought you'd never show up, Comrade."

He drops his bag on one of the benches. "Tell me again, why must you call me that?"

I shrug and we drop the subject. Dimitri picks up a Styrofoam bar, which I give him a look. "Seriously, I can beat up Styrofoam."

"We're practicing your kicks today." He says, raising the bar to a high level. When he gives me the signal, I have at it, kicking and throwing my legs out in front of me. His face shows nothing, so I don't know whether he's impressed or not.

"What?" I ask when he gives a shake of his head.

He sighs and says, "It's nothing. You're doing good."

"Doesn't seem like it," I say a little too harshly. An immediate regret on my side.

Dimitri shakes his head and puts the Styrofoam bar down, motioning for me to stop. I stop, and begin to heave heavily. The exercise was tiring, and took a lot out of me.

"Are you okay?" I ask, concerned for whatever Dimitri is dealing with. If only he weren't so closed off to me.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm _sure, _Rose," He spits at me and walks over to his bag, where he pulls out a stake.

He hands me the stake. The feel of the cold silver scares me a little. It reminds me of just a month ago, when Mason had died. It feels like such a long time, but I can't help but feel horrible. I stabilize myself against the mat.

_Concentrate, Rose. Focus on the enemy. You can't show weakness. Not now. _

I didn't exactly have an enemy. But when I practice staking, Dimitri always acted as the enemy Strigoi. He gives me a nod and I throw myself at him, spinning and jumping, getting out of the way of his grasp. He is graceful, like a swan. He turns and twists, making it harder to get a good place to jab him with. Before I know it, Dimitri grabs me and shoves me to the ground, him hovering above. I manage to get my arm loose from under me and get a good look at his heart. I do it. I hit him in the heart, the stake a bit tilted. The silver stake hovers only a few inches from the real place where I would hit a Strigoi. He nods, his eyes twinkling. I don't know what makes me do it, but I just can't help myself. . .

I kiss him.

I immediately pull away, lowering my head on to the mat. He releases me and stands, his expression hard. I sit up myself and open my mouth to say something. I know it isn't right. In fact, if we were to be together, we would be risking Lissa's life.

"I-I-I'm sorry," I mumble, stunned myself.

Dimitri shakes his head and throws the stake across the room. It makes a large _Bang _sound as it hits the gym floor. I look down at my fumbling hands. I made a mistake. One I will have to pay for probably.

"God, Rose!" He shouts. "Why do. . . Why do you have to do stuff like that!"

I stand up, brushing off my sweatpants. "I said I was sorry!" I yell back at him.

"You know we can't!" He yells. I step back and his face softens. We stand there for a few minutes. "Roza, please," he reaches his hand out, reaching for my cheek. I push his hand away and narrow my eyes.

"Don't call me that. . ."

He closes his eyes. I get ready for another Zen life lesson, but only silence feels the air.

"Something's been bothering you the entire time," I announce. "So, tell me. What's going on?"

"Rose-"

"Tell me!" I interrupt, shouting at him. "Just. . . Please, Dimitri. I want, I _need_ an answer."

He shakes his head. My trainer is utterly impossible. "I can't. . ."

"Yes you can." I touch his cheek. . . barely; softly.

Dimitri turns his head, focusing the wall in front of him. I tilt my head and step forward, placing a hand on his arm. He flinches, probably not noticing I am so close. We stand like that for a long time before he comes to his senses. His face is stone-hard.

"Dimitri, if you can fight Strigoi without breaking a sweat, you can be truthful with me," I say to him, stroking his cheek. "Please, Dimitri." I know my voice sounds pitiful, pleading, but I can't stop myself. I need to know what's going on with him.

Dimitri catches my hand in his, his head tilted downwards so he can look me straight in the eyes. I hold my breath, waiting for whatever he has to say. "Roza, you'll always be the only one that can do that to me."

I tilt my head to the side. "Do what?"

"Make me admit something I don't want to; make me break," he says.

I step closer by one step. "Just tell me, Dimitri."

He takes one deep breath. Exhale, inhale, exhale; that's his way of calming down. I wonder if his heart is racing like mine is. Just being so close to him sends electricity through my hand to the rest of my body. But I know what comes next won't be good.

"I'm leaving, Roza."


	3. Chapter Three

I drop my hand from my place on his cheek, disbelief flooding my senses.

I stare at him, everything about him doesn't look as gorgeous, sexy, and amazing as it had just seconds ago. I know that, despite my mind's refusal to believe it, my eyes are wet; my tear ducts are going overload. I lightly push Dimitri and take a few steps back myself. Anything to get away from what he had just said. Is this real? Did Dimitri really just say something like that? _No, _I think to myself. It can't be possible. . . can it?

Dimitri closes the gap between us, reaching up to touch my chin, raising my head to look at him. I refuse to though, drooping my eyes so that I'm staring at the floor. I can't face something that feels so unreal.

"Roza," He bends down so that I have no choice but to look at him, his strong hand still propping up my chin.

"No," I say, throwing myself backwards. "Don't call me that. Please, don't ever call me that again, Dimitri. Never."

His beautiful dark eyes stare at me.

"Rose, please," he says in a soothing voice.

I can barely feel the tears dripping down my cheek, falling off my skin and on to some other surface. I furiously wipe at the stupid tears. I'm not weak. No, never have I been weak.

"Dimitri," I warn, "please, don't say anything."

"Just hear me out, Rose," he says. "You need to know-"

I shake my head. "Who?"

"What?"

"Who!" I shout at him. "Why are you leaving? For _whom _are you leaving me for?"

"I'm going to be Tasha's guardian," Dimtri whispers softly. And like that, I feel myself melt from his grasp.

"No, Dimitri," I say. "You're not just going to be her guardian. You're leaving. . . forever, maybe. What happened to you wanting to protect Lissa?"

"Rose-"

"No!" I yell, fuming. "It's _my _turn to talk. So. Yeah, you remember Lissa? The last living Dragomir? The one you always wanted to protect What happened to that, Dimitri! Did that disappear from your mind as soon as Tasha offered you that position! Isn't that true, Dimitri?"

"No, Rose," he replies. "It's not. I'm still making up my decision. Lissa needs protection, and you're the one for it. I know that she _needs_ you. You doesn't need me, Rose. She never has. Only you. You're bonded to her, with her. I'm not, and as much as you might want to deny the inevitable, you have to be her guardian. But me? I'm not like that; it's not about me. It's about Lissa and you."

"Don't you dare bring that crap about Lissa and I being bonded into this, Belikov!" I shout. "This isn't about her. No, it's about _you_. You and your decision to _leave everything behind_."

"You'll understand one day, Rose."

"I understand now," I fume. "It's all clear now. Just go, Dimitri. Leave me, okay? Take the offer. See if I care."

"Rose!" He yells, but he doesn't have a chance at catching me before I turn on my heel and storm out of the gym. I don't care anymore. I don't care if Dimitri leave. Who cares anymore?

I hear Dimitri scream my name once more as I run through down the path to my dorm. I brush away the tears that now soak my face. I hate my tear ducts for that, for letting me cry however many tears I have. It's ridiculous, how childish I may seem. But this involves me, Dimitri, and Tasha. Dimitri told me something that just broke my heart, and it stings every time I think about the words that he so easily said.

I think that over and over, rolling it around in my mind.

Footsteps pace behind me. If it's him. . .

I turn around and slap the crap out of the guy behind me. The face I just slapped looks completely startled, stunned.

"What the-" he holds his hand up to his red cheek and yells, "what the heck, Rose!"

Christian Ozera. Figures.

I wipe away any remaining tears. I don't care if I cry. As long as it's not in front of Christian; him of all people. "Oh, sorry. . . I'm. . . sort of in a rush right now."

"So you just go around slapping everyone?" He shouts at me.

"Just shut up, Christian." I whisper lowly, rolling my eyes.

"Rose," Christian says, suddenly noticing my crumbling appearance. "What's wrong with you?"

"Lots of things." I realize something, and narrow my eyes. "Why are you creeping up behind people, anyways?"

"Oh, please," Christian waves his hand. "That wasn't even me _trying _to be sneaky. If I had been, you wouldn't have noticed me."

"Whatever. What do you want, Christian?"

"Forget it, Hathaway," Christian says. "I have nothing to say to you now."

"That's the best thing you've said all week," I mutter, crossing my arms over my chest and shaking my head so my hair falls over my face. Even though I've long since stopped crying by now, I'm sure my face is still red.

"Rose, are you okay?" Christian asks, sounding sincere. Almost concerned in a way.

"Yes, I'm fine." I say. ". . . . Thanks."

"Yeah, well, it's the least I can do."

I start to drift off, thinking about something. I look behind Christian's shoulder at the lights of the gym. I feel beside me and curse under my breath. "Crap, I forgot my gym bag."

"Are you even listening to me?"

I shake my head. "No not really."

Exasperated, Christian turns away from me and starts walking the direction of the gym. It takes me a minute to realize what he is doing.

"Don't go in there," I say and run to catch him. He walks at a steady pace, and it's easy for me to do the same.

Christian raises an eyebrow and says, "why not?"

I bite my lip. "Just don't. . . don't go through the trouble. I'll get it later."

Christian sighs. "Well, next time I see you, you better have gotten it."

"I will, Christian," I reassure him. "I'll get it when I have the time."

"You don't have the time now?"

I shake my head. "Not particularly."

"Okay," Christian says and we stand in silence for a minute. I'm startled when Christian suddenly and unexpectedly breaks into a run, towards the gym.

"Christian, no!" I yell, running after him. Before I can catch him, he bursts open the door to the gym and disappears inside. I give an exasperated sigh, out of breath and tired beyond belief.

Christian comes back a few minutes later, shoving a gym bag, my gym bag, into my open hand. I look up to see Christian walk away with an annoyed, but pride-filled look on his face. I huff and catch up to him.

"Was anybody in there?" I ask, curious to see if Dimitri is still lingering in there.

"Heck if I know," he replies. "I just grabbed the bag and got out of there."

I give a low scowl. "Don't you think it would have been nice to at least check?"

He shrugs. "Not my problem."

"If Strigoi would have been in there, it _would _have been your problem," I point out.

"Whatever," Christian mumbles and walks in the opposite direction of where I'm going.

"Hey, Christian!" I yell after him. When he turns, I say, "tell Lissa I said hey."

He nods. "Sure thing, Hathaway. I'll tell her everything."

By the time he says that, I'm turned around and walking back to my dorm. I swivel on my heel and stare at him icredulously. "You most certainly will not!"

"You're not my mother," Christian says, and for a second a pained expression flashes across his face. I know exactly why. His parents had turned Strigoi willingly, and he had experienced that tramautic event. I wonder what it's like to have someone you love so much turn into a blood-sucking, murdering monster.

"Besides," Christian adds, "you need help."

"I do not." I spit at him a little too defensively.

He sighs. "Tell that to your tear-stained face, Rose."

"Oh, whatever!" I yell at him.

As he turns away and starts to walk, whistling a catchy tune, he looks over his shoulder and, with a wink, says, "get over yourself, Hathaway."

"Get over the fact that you think you can boss me around," I tell him all the same.

* * *

I play around with my bow-tie pasta. I don't exactly know the real name of the type of noodles, but bow-ties seem really close, I think. Lissa glances at me on several occasions. I really think she is trying to read my mind. I shove the tray away from me and let my head fall into my arms.

"Rose?" Lissa's voice is small, probably misunderstanding what's going on with me. I doubt anyone knows what I'm going through, except for Dimitri.

"Leave it alone, Lissa," I mutter.

"Okay," she doesn't push for answers, and I'm grateful for that.

I look up at her, pushing my plate into the middle of the table; I'm done. "Well, you need to eat. . . drink. . . . whatever you vampires say."

"Don't say the V word, please." She looks up at me and my expression that shows concern, worry. Lissa shakes her head and whispers, "besides, I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are," I watch her eyes reach mine, giving her a small, reassuring smile. "You'll be starving by the time dinner comes around."

"I believe," says Lissa, "that I am satisfied with the amount of blood I drank this morning."

With everything going on in Rose-world, I really don't feel like dealing with this now. Especially since I know that Dimitri is one of the guardians lining the walls. I don't dare look around, knowing that he is probably watching me right back. Truthfully, I want _nothing _to do with him today, or tomorrow, or even next week. I might not even show up at practice today.

"There are starving vampires all over the world," I say. "And I don't want you, Lissa Dragomir, to be one of them."

Lissa crosses her arms and sticks her nose in the air. "You said it yourself. You said my name. I am a Moroi princess and you _can't _make me eat anything!"

I growl and say, "don't play that Moroi princess crap on me."

And even then Lissa doesn't budge.

"Lissa, please," I beg.

"I'm not hungry, Rose," says Lissa.

"Well you must eat _something_. Otherwise you'll go crazy wild. And we wouldn't want that, would we, Rose?"

My entire body tenses. That voice wasn't mine; it was Tasha Ozera's.


	4. Chapter Four

"Tasha!" Lissa jumps up from her seat and throws her arms around Christian's aunt. She gives a smile as Lissa pulls away, just as excited as Tasha is.

Tasha laughs and says, "it's so good to see you again, Lissa." She glances in my direction and adds, "Rose, so lovely to see you too. How is guardian training coming along?"

"Same old, same old," I mutter and stand from my seat. I wonder if she knows that Dimitri told me. From the looks of it, it's possible he didn't tell her.

Once Tasha and Lissa are both done hugging and exchanging hello's, Tasha looks between the two of us, a big grin tugging at the corners of her lips. I stare and admire the natural beauty she has, the long scar on the side of her face. I scold myself for thinking like that. She's taking Dimitri away from me. We can't be friends or allies.

"Have either of you seen my mischievous nephew?" She asks.

Lissa frowns. "Not since yesterday morning."

Tasha notices I don't say anything and raises her head at me, her eyes scanning my face.

"Rose," Tasha announces my name. "What about you?

I shrug, my hands balling into fist. _Drop it, Rose_, I say to myself, and reply to Tash's question with, "yesterday night. We had a small exchange."

Lissa raises an eyebrow, asking for an answer to an unsaid question. Though the bond, I hear Lissa say, _we'll talk later__. _I give a slight nod in her direction, not enough for Tasha to notice though.

"Look, I need to go," I jab a thumb to the direction of the doors. "Lissa, eat something. Please."

"Wait, Rose," Lissa grabs my arm and pulls me back. In a low whisper, she asks me, "are you okay?"

I pat Lissa's hand. "Yes, Liss. Don't worry 'bout me. I'm fine."

"Okay," she says, a flash of concern crossing her face. I really hope she doesn't drive herself crazy worrying about me.

I turn to go, but quickly stop when I hear Tasha's approaching footsteps.

"Rose, wait," Tasha's voice rings out. I swivel on my heel and face her. "I heard that the ice is still a bit frozen. Maybe we can go ice-skating one of these boring old school days?"

Excitement fills Lissa's face. "Oh my God! That would be awesome! Rose-" She looks at me. "What do you think?"

I give a big, fake smile. I try to play up to Lissa's excitement, but it fails miserably. "Maybe. We'll have to see, you know."

"Great!" Tasha gives me a sincere smile, and I can't help but smile back.

I turn to leave, this time without anyone stopping me. Outside, the cold night air sends a chills down my spine. I shudder even though I'm not that cold. I take a mental note to bring a jacket next time I go out.

* * *

The cool shower water runs down my back, giving the chilly feeling of a cold morning. I turn the nozzle and step out of the shower, reaching for a towel. I wrap it around my bruised body. Why did I have to get so beat up when training?

Someone knocks on the door.

"Be there in a sec!" I say, rushing into my dorm and grabbing a pair of jeans and a cute black blouse. I slip them on with the rest of the casualties before opening the door. For a second, I'm hopeful it's Adrian or Lissa, or even Christian. No such thing happens.

It's Dimitri.

I clear my throat and say, "Dimitri, hi."

"Can I come in?" He asks, looking around the room. I nod and step out of the way, letting Dimitri inside. He steps in and takes a seat on the edge of my bed. He must think it a risk, because he moves to my desk chair instead.

I close the door behind me and sit down opposite of him, on the bed. We sit in a comfortable silence that wraps around us. The more we sit like that, the tenser the friction between us becomes, and it gets harder to be quiet.

I run a hand through my damp hair. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Rose," Dimitri says, "you know exactly what I want to talk about.

I sigh. "Okay, let's talk then."

"I'm doing this for a reason, Rose," Dimitri says. "It's better that we have seperate charges. Lissa belongs as your charge, and I'll take whatever I can find."

"Lissa doesn't belong to me," I point out. "Besides, I might not even end up as Lissa's guardian. If you haven't noticed, my slate isn't the cleanest."

He seems to be fighting himself, because he keeps putting on a tough expression. "Rose, I don't want you to be angry."

"I'm not," I explain. "Look, do what you have to. I don't care anymore."

"Yes you do," he replies. "You _do _care. You just won't admit it."

I bite my bottom lip and turn away, slipping off the bed and on to the cold floor. . . Why does this happen to me?

"It's so easy for you to leave," I voice my thoughts. "How is that possible? After what we've been through together. Dimitri, I loved you, and you loved me." I gulp down the huge lump in my throat. "Why is it so easy for you to leave me?"

"Roza," I don't bother reminding him that I told him not to call me that anymore. Dimitri sits beside me on the floor, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. Warmth spreads throughout that area. "Please, you need to forgive me."

"Why?" I ask icily. "Will it make it easier on you?"

"It's not about me," he replies coolly.

"I know," I say. "To you, it's about Lissa, Tasha, and everyone else _but _us."

"Rose," He says sternly. "I've always loved you, I still do. But this offer. . . It comes once in a lifetime. I'm a dhampir, I must protect the Moroi from the enemies that want to harm them. Don't you see?"

"You can protect Lissa," I whisper, cupping my hands in my lap.

He shakes his head. "That's your job, for you to do. I don't have the bond with her."

"That's a pitiful excuse."

Dimitri sighs. "Perhaps it is," he says. "But I want you to be her guardian."

I don't know what gets into me, but I slap Dimitri hard across the right side of his face. "I hope that hurt, Dimitri Belikov."

"It did," he replies a simple answer.

"Good," I nod my head, satisfied. "How long?"

"Hm?" He looks up at me and stares into my eyes. I think about the kisses we've shared, the moments that have affected me so much. I break the gaze and look down at his lips.

"I don't know," he whispers. "It won't be permanent. I don't think it will be."

"Do you promise?" I ask, glancing up at him.

Dimitri takes a deep breath and says, "I promise, Rose."

I put my face in my hands and exhale a deep, long sigh. It's all I can do not to let tears fall down my face. I look up at Dimitri. I've loved him for so long. So, so long. Everything about him, inside and out. His gorgeous face and eyes, his dark-colored hair - almost chocolate brown - and his perfect lips. His Russian accent that I want to melt to so many times, and everything else about him. His protective guardian side, the tough wall that he puts up that only I can break through. I feel myself crumbling a little bit more. I reach up and stroke Dimitri cheeks, pulling him into a long and lingering kiss. He kisses me back, and that electricity shudders through me. I stroke his cheek with my thumb, exploring past his cheek and wrapping my arm around his neck, pulling him deeper and deeper into a kiss. The kiss intensifies and I feel Dimitri clasp my back, his strong hands keeping me steady.

"No," Dimitri breaks away from me, both of us breathing heavily. "Rose, no. Please no."

I gaze at him and reach out to touch him. He grabs my hand and studies it, and then plants a soft, gentle kiss on it.

"One time, Dimitri," I plead. I'm pitiful, exposed; it saddens me how much he can make me break. "Just one more time, Dimitri."

I pull him into another kiss, and this one last much longer. His hand runs up my back and into my hair, stroking the long strands of the hair he loves so much. I wrap my arms around his neck, planting small kisses on his cheek, his temple, and then his forehead.

"Roza," I hear him whisper. "Sweet Roza."

I return my lips to his, and we kiss for another intense, electrifying, beautiful moment of ours. I don't ever want to stop, just to stay in this moment forever, never for it to end.

Dimitri drops his head on to my chest, and I feel him breathe heavily. I wrap my arms around him, comforting him as best I can.

"I-I love you, Dimitri," I whisper into his ear, stroking his small-bone as he sits there, taking comfort in the closeness of our bodies.

Dimitri lifts his head so that he's gazing into my eyes. He studies my face, and one of those rare smiles appear on his face. He pulls me into another kiss, and when we break apart, he says, "I love you too, Roza."

We sit like that for a long time, holding each other, kissing every so often, and savoring every second that we can. I know that by tomorrow, he'll be back to his normal self. It will be like none of this ever happened.

"Is this it, Dimitri?" I ask him, my voice low.

"Hm?" Dimitri mumbles, his face buried in my neck.

"Is this it?" I repeat, my voice breaking.

Dimitri cups my face in his large hands, staring at me intensely as if trying to remember every single part of my face. "Only if you want it to be."

I touch Dimitri's cheek again, trailing my fingers over his lips that I've kissed so many times. I study him, and finally smile, realizing what I want.

"I don't ever want this to be the end," I tell him, and before he can reply, I pull him into a passionate kiss. His hand brushes against my neck, happily kissing me for probably the last time.

When we stop kissing to catch our breaths, I whisper to no one in particular, "I don't ever want this to end."


	5. Chapter Five

I wake up the next morning (well, night) with a fresh start on everything. All the thoughts of last night rushing back to me. I sigh happily, running my fingers over my top lip, then my bottom. It's all okay, for however long I want it to be. Dimitri and I had both weakened each other, and in the end, we had sat in my room for hours, talking and kissing, not going any farther. The lingering feelings of love, passion, and a burning desire to keep Dimitri as mine for as long as I can.

"Rose," someone knocks on my door. "It's Lissa!"

I drag out of bed, looking at the spot by my bed - on the floor - where Dimitri and I had shared one of most special moments. I pull on a sweat-shirt and prance over to the door, opening the door. Lissa slides right by me and looks at me with a big smile.

"You need to get ready, Rose," Lissa says.

"Er, why?" I ask, curious for what Lissa's going to make me do now.

"Well, we're going shopping this afternoon," Lissa explains. "And you are so definitely going with me."

I groan and say, "Lissa, please. Not today."

"You have exactly one hour to get ready," Lissa says to me. As she turns to leave my dorm room, she looks behind her and says, "don't be late!"

* * *

I decide to dress in jeans a cashmere sweater. I leave my hair down, chocolate curls falling down my back.

"This is going to be so much fun," Lissa says excitedly. She dresses in white jeans and a pink blouse, her platinum hair falling in waves down her back.

"Yeah, I think it will be," I say, joining in with the excitement. Nothing should go wrong today, absolutely nothing. I put all the drama with Dimitri and Tasha in the back of my head, promising not to think about it.

Lissa and I walk together towards the front gates of the academy, where Lissa told me that Adrian would be waiting with a car.

"So, who's all coming?" I ask, applying a layer of lipstick on my lips as we stroll through the grounds.

"Uh, well, let's see," Lissa bites her bottom lip. "You, me, Christian-" she uses her fingers to count off each of us. "-and Adrian. Are we missing anyone?"

"Eddie," I say, hoping he'll be there.

Lissa sighs. "How could I forget," she says, exasperated.

I link my arm through hers. "Don't worry, Liss."

Lissa nods, probably mad at herself because she forgot one of our friends. A long silence drags out between us. I don't blame her, though. If I had to make a list of people to bring, I'd probably forget someone. . . on accident or on purpose, you never know.

"We'll see," Lissa says. I agree, and we walk the rest of the way to the front gates of the academy.

I finally speak up, breaking the long silence that has fallen over us. "Will Dimitri be there?"

"He should be," says Lissa. "He's my guardian, after all."

"Well, if he doesn't show, remember I'll protect you," I say, and we link our arms together.

We walk up to the front gates where Adrian waits. Behind him, two black SUV's sit silently, the engines off. I lead Lissa to the one where Adrian is, leaning on the passenger door, a cigarette in between his fingers.

"Why hello, little dhampir," Adrian says, the scent of cigarette and acholol in his breath. I thank the Lord he's not driving.

I nod my head. "Hey, Adrian."

"So, who's riding with who?" Lissa asks.

"I really don't know-" I begin to say, but Adrian cuts me off.

"Well, since I feel you _must _be in the protective arms of I, Adrian Ivashkov, you and Lissa will be riding with me."

"Okay. So Christian and I are riding together?" Lissa asks. "I sort of wanted to ride with both of them, but. . . "

Adrian sighs. "Perhaps Rose and I can have the car to ourselves." He winks at me. "How 'bout it, little dhampir? Me, you, a bottle of champagne. I think-"

"No."

"I'm quite charm-"

"No."

"You know I _can _be very seductive-"

"Not really."

"I can use compuls-"

"Absolutely not."

"I do what I wa-"

"No."

"Let me finish my sentences!" He shouts, throwing his cigarette bud on the ground and stomping on it. "Why are you so complicated? What the he-"

"Oh, Adrian."

"Argh!" Adrian storms over to the car and scoots in, slamming the passenger door and leaving Lissa and I to laugh our heads off.

An arm falls over Lissa's shoulder. "What in God's name is so funny?" Christian asks with a smirk on his face. I tense a bit and search around for Tasha. She's not coming, though, I realize.

Lissa shakes her head. "Nothing," she spares me a look before pulling Christian into a kiss. It reminds me of last night, when both mine and Dimitri's walls had fallen and crumbled, leaving us exposed to our feelings and deepest desires.

"Where's Tasha?" Lissa asks; a question I really want an answer to.

Christian shrugs. "She sadly declined. I guess she had more important things to do."

"Hmm," I purr. "Interesting. I wonder what those reasons are."

Christian and Lissa flash me a look and I leave them to lovers' paradise. I slide in next to Adrian, who is quietly watching ahead of him. It's very possible he is angry at me. Before I climb into the car, I look around for any signs of Dimitri. Nope, none. I get into the back seat with Adrian and shut the door beside me. I look over at Adrian.

"Adrian?" I ask quietly, trying to rid my nose of the disgusting smell of clove cigarettes. _God, does he bathe in those things?_

"Hm?" He asks back, slightly raising an eyebrow.

I huff. "You okay?

"That's a question I should be asking you, little dhampir."

I nod. "Perhaps."

The car shudders to a start and all signs of conversation disappear. The black SUV drives slowly through the Montana roads. I glance over at Adrian who is so soaked up in the views of the mountain that he doesn't even notice my staring. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes.

* * *

Someone pokes me in the cheek. My reflexes immediately go on and I swipe in front of me.

"Ow!" A familiar voice yells. I open my eyes and see Christian holding a hand to his cheek. He glares at me. "How many times are you going to do that to me?"

I shrug. "You should stop sneaking up on me. . ."

"You were asleep!" He says exasperated.

"Not my fault," I say with a shrug.

"All right, Christian," Lissa says behind Christian. "I desperately want to do some shopping with Rose so if you don't mind."

Lissa yanks me out of my seat and pulls me towards the entrance of the mall. Christian trails behind, watching as Lissa and I make our way through the mall, stopping at every store to window-shop.

Lissa points to a pretty pink blouse. "That's cute."

I nod and tug her forward. We walk into the store and search for the top. I take the right wall, she takes the left wall. We meet in the middle.

"None in my size," Lissa announces sadly.

We walk out and continue making our way through each and every store. I take an hour to browse through Hot Topic which, for Lissa, isn't her favorite store. After picking out some shirts and pants, I check out and leave.

"Don't you have _enough _clothes already?" Christian asks, bored out of his mind.

Lissa twirls around and says, "a girl can never have enough clothes, Christian. Am I right, Rose?"

I nod and say, "she's right. No arguing with that."

The Dragomir princess plants a kiss on Christian's cheek and turns, linking her arm with mine.

She sighs after a while of ooh-ing and aah-ing at clothing items and jewelry. "I sort of wanted to buy a dress today."

"That'd be nice," I think out loud.

She laughs. "Maybe next time. We have too many dresses already."

"I highly doubt it."

"Rose," Lissa says, sighing. "Why must Moroi be so agitated by the sun?"

I watch shoppers flit by, heavy bags dragging down on their arms. "Hm. . . Maybe 'cause you're a vamp-"

"Don't say that word!" Lissa punches me playfully on the arm.

I laugh. "Okay, sure."

"Hey, Rose?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you should go out with Adrian," Lissa says.

"Whoa!" I turn towards her. "Where did that come from?"

She shrugs, her eyes glancing over at Adrian. He seems to be in his own little world. I watch as he scans the crowd, the stores, the humans. He seems interested in all of it, and when his eyes lock with mine, I quickly turn away. I face Lissa once again, pondering the thought. I could never be with Adrian. Besides, my love life is a big mess right now, anyways. I don't need even more guy trouble.

"Come on, Rose," Lissa pleads. "He's not that bad. I mean, look at the guy!"

I glance over at Adrian again. "Yes, Liss. He's cute, but I'm not interested."

Lissa frowns. "Rose, are you. . . still mourning over Mason?"

I turn away abruptly. "No, don't talk about that. It's. . . it's nothing, Lissa. Just drop it, okay?"

I know that by the look in her eyes, she doesn't want to drop it, but she does anyways. "Okay, Rose. Sorry."

After that, we decide we're done for the day, and head back with Adrian, Christian, and the guardians. Adrian and I pack ourselves into the first car with Christian and Lissa in the one behind us. The drive takes for what seems to be forever before we arrive back at the academy. We all pile out of the SUVs and I see Lissa running towards me.

"There's going to be a party in the cafeteria," she squeals, thrilled.

I raise an eyebrow. "Is it someone's birthday?"

"No," Lissa answers.

"Then what?" Adrian says, butting in to the conversation from behind me.

"I don't know. . . just a party, I guess," Lissa replies giddily.

I see the enlivened look on Lissa's face; she's so excited. I can't help but feel the same. After all, a party sounds great. It's somewhere where we can have fun and be care-free for just a little while. A big grin breaks out on my face. Lissa's excitement is contagious.

"A party sounds great," I say.

"I agree," Adrian says.


	6. Chapter Six

I decide to dress in all black, a tight, short dress that shows off my curves perfectly. I wear my hair down, a bundle of chocolate brown curls that roll down my back and shoulders. Add a pair of glittering black heels, and I'm complete, almost perfection.

Lissa and I walk into the gym, which has been transformed into a beautiful party. Black and white streamers hang from the ceiling, a few on the floor. From the basketball hoops, there are now little diamonds dangling from them, the low lights jumping off of them, creating a thousand little specks of light on the ground. The stands are decorated with black and white seat cushions, and of course there's a long table shoved against a wall, food covering the white place-mat. To make it seem even more

The gym, being the usual not-fun-smells-like-socks sort of place, has been transformed into a beautiful formal party. Black and white streamers hang from the ceiling, yet a few still manage to fall to the ground. Either that or some jerk was pulling them down. Whoever planned the party must be creative, because little dangling diamonds (Fake, obviously) hang from every edge of something. Whether it be basketball hoops, doorways, or anywhere else, it still looks wonderfully beautiful, casting little dancing lights upon the floor.

"Wow," Lissa and I gap at the party. It's gorgeous. I look over at Lissa who's staring at every little thing. She wears a dark violet dress that's shimmery, almost like diamonds are blinking off the side of her dress. The sleeves are short, only reaching to her shoulder. Her hair is worn down, like mine, platinum and shimmering and straight. She's the perfect example of a picture of an angel.

One stand, on the right side, has little black and white cushions for anyone who wants to sit down. Of course, the theme must be black-and-white. Either that, or someone _really _likes chess. Lissa is dazzled, her eyes wondering around the entire room.

As we walk deeper into the gym-turned-party, we pass a few more excited Moroi's and dhampirs, all dressed up for the occasion. Some wave at us, some give us nasty looks. I guess Lissa and I are bound to have enemies.

I see Christian heading towards us, so I spin Lissa to face me.

"Be careful," I warn. "Okay?"

She nods, a little annoyed at me being protective. "It's all right, Rose. It's just a party."

"Last time when it was _just a party_, you almost died." I know it stings, but she needs to know the truth.

Lissa places hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. I'll be extra careful." Christian comes up beside her. "Besides, Victor's in jail now." I know how much it hurts her to say his name.

As she is whisked away by Christian, I murmur, "Doesn't mean there's not others like him."

"Little dhampir, I do believe you owe me a dance," Adrian's voice sounds behind me. I turn.

"What makes you think that?" I say.

He lights a cigarette. "What doesn't make me think that?"

Okay, now I'm confused. "What?"

"Let's dance." Adrian grabs my arm and leads me to the dance floor. I hesitate as he pulls me in with him, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Aren't you going to sway with me?" He slurs, the cigarette in his mouth making his words come out wrong.

"Yeah, I guess." Adrian spins me and wraps his arms around me again.

Someone behind me clears their throat, but I'm too wrapped up in the sweet music to notice. Adrian's arms slip off my waist and I'm suddenly in someone else's arms. They are strong, muscled arms. I open my eyes and see=

"Dimitri," I murmur.

"Hello, Rose," he greets me with no emotion in his voice, back to his normal, guardian self.

"W-what?" I whisper, inaudible to the ones around us.

His brown eyes stare intently at me. I feel as if I could dive into them and never leave. God, he's gorgeous, I think to myself, gazing at his face, the lips that I had intensely kissed just last night. It takes me a minute to respond back. I feel a sting that he doesn't act like the Dimitri he was last night - with me. All those intense feelings, all the burning passion, has disappeared from his eyes. The Dimitri I saw last night is gone. For how long? I have no idea.

"Hi, Dimitri," I nod at him.

"You like dancing, right?" Dimitri asks, his accent thick. It makes me want to melt right then and there.

I nod. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Good," he says. "This will last a while."

I can't help but think about the Dimitri I was with last night. The one where, for just a few hours, I had broken down barriers and walls to seek out that love and passion he felt for me. He's gone, not that I don't mind. Dimitri isn't easy to break through to. That's one of the reasons I love him so much. I shudder, thinking about last night, the way his lips felt against mine, his hand against my back, my neck, running through my hair-

"This is about last night, Rose," all my thoughts come to a screeching halt as Dimitri says that.

I gulp and reply with, "what do you mean?"

"It should have never happened, Rose," he says. "You know that. You understand that, right?"

"Yes," I say. "But. . . Dimitri, it's fine. We don't have to talk about that."

"None of that should ever have happened," Dimitri says more to himself than to me. It's like he's trying to convince himself; not me.

"We need to forget about it," he says.

"Do. . . do you want to forget?" I ask, scared of what he might say.

"No, Roza," he pulls a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I don't ever want to forget."

The sudden affection startles me. Especially in public. I look down, away from those gorgeous eyes. _What am I doing to myself?_

"I don't want you to leave if we're on bad terms," I blurt out, scolding myself for that.

"Don't worry," Dimitri says. I'm still pondering the fact that he's dancing with me in public. "We're on good terms, Rose."

"Okay," I whisper as I sway to the music. "Dimitri?"

"Yes?" He asks.

Tell me something I don't know."

"Okay," he whispers. I look up to see his eyes closed, thinking what he should say. "I don't believe it will be permanent."

I spark of hope flutters inside me. "Really?"

"I think so," he says.

"What do you mean it's not permanent?"

He inhales deeply, then exhales and says, "it won't be permanent unless I choose to stay and become Tasha's permanent guardian."

"Interesting," I say.

"Yes, Rose. It is interesting," he tells me. "I'll make my decision one of these days."

"You'll keep me in mind when you make that decision, right?" I ask.

"Of course I will," he answers. It makes me feel a little better. Not much. Just a little.

"Not permanent, huh?"

"Not that I know of."

I feel relieved, happy. Knowing that Dimitri might come back feels me with an inevitable hope; it's undeniable that I'm still in love with him. I decide, after much thought, that I want to soak up everything I can while I still can. I stare at Dimitri, taking in the gorgeous view. First his long brown hair, then his chocolate eyes so deep I could get lost in them, and then his lips, which I have kissed many times before.

"Okay," I say, feeling satisfaction at the picture I have carved into my mind. I see, when I think about Dimitri, the love he has in him, the rare smile I see sometimes, and his kick-butt God status. It all feels right. At least for now.

I lean my head on his shoulder, in which he returns the affection by wrapping his arms tightly around me. So tight that it feels good, so good. Nothing. . . No one in this world could replace the feelings I have for this man.

It's probably the fourth song we have danced to. Since then, Adrian has disappeared, probably off flirting with someone. All four songs have been slow or medium-paced. It was definitely strange, but I didn't care. It felt good just being in his arms.

"Dimka!"

I feel Dimitri tense, his body going rigid. The same happens for me, and all signs of connection between us just break into a million tiny pieces. I turn and see Tasha strolling towards us. Something inside me crinkles, like paper I guess I could say. I didn't hate Tasha. Maybe I'm angry at her. But hate is too strong a word.

"Hello, Tasha," Dimitri says.

"Tasha, hi," I say.

She glances between Dimitri and I. I wonder if she thinks there's something going on. I don't want suspicion of my relationship with Dimitri, or his with me. I take cool breaths to collect myself, breaking apart from Dimitri as the fifth song begins to play.

Tasha clears her throat. "Dimitri, I know this is a bad time. But we have things to attend to."

"I already know!" I say, putting my hands on my hips. "You don't have to keep it a secret anymore."

"So, he told you?" Tasha asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Don't hide it anymore though, Tasha. He told me, and so now I know everything."

"We were going to tell people later," Tasha says, a tinge of accusation in her voice.

"Tasha, please." Dimitri says.

"I didn't want anyone knowing until the day we left. Only the other guardians should know," Tasha turns to Dimitri.

"What's wrong with letting other people know?" I ask.

Dimitri looks down at me, his grip on me loosening. I didn't even notice that his hand was still placed on my hip. I take another step back so we're not touching at all.

"I don't know," Tasha says. "We just weren't. . ."

"Oh," I whisper. "Well, not everyone knows. Just me, you, and Dimitri. And the guardians, right?"

"Yes," Tasha says. "Dimitri and I were clear on the fact that we weren't going to tell anyone until it was the right time."

I think about it for a long time. Tasha didn't want to tell anyone until last minute. Maybe so that no one could talk Dimitri out of it. I glance over at Dimitri, his eyes boring holes into me. I narrow my eyes, something that would have been wrong minutes ago. Love. Passion. Desire. Anger. Sorrow. Sadness. It all comes boiling to the top. Everything I've ever felt in my life, whether good or bad, brings me to the top. I have a feeling that spirit's side-affect has something to do with this, but I do it anyway.

I punch Tasha Ozera.

* * *

My punch was square in the jaw of Tasha.

The dancing crowd forms a perfect circle around us. Ooh's and aah's and gasps fill the air. _Oh God, what have I done?_ I step aside as Dimitri makes his way to Tasha. Blood leaks from her nose, and broken skin on her chin. She looks up at me stares at me wildly. To her, I probably am wild; out of control, maybe. I hear Kirova's voice screaming at people to move out of the way. For a moment, Dimitri's eyes meet mine and I understand immediately. I turn on my heel and push through the crowd, ignoring the looks of the people surrounding me. I run to the gym doors leading outside and slam it behind me.

"Well, well, little dhampir," I scream and turn to see Adrian.

I put a hand to my heart and say, "don't scare me like that!"

He shrugs and walks towards me. Before, he was leaning against the wall. "I didn't know I scared you."

I roll my eyes. "Of course you didn't."

I stare at Adrian for a minute, taking in his appearance. He doesn't seem very drunk. Hopefully he's laying off the liquor. I'm very hopeful he is.

"Wait," I say, unsure of what I'm thinking. "Why are you out here?"

Adrian raises an eyebrow. "Well, I heard some excitement of Tasha Ozera getting punched." He gives me the Adrian look. "And thought I needed a smoke."

He pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his suit jacket pocket. He pulls out a single one and begins to put it back. I hate when he smokes those stupid Clove-scented cigarettes.

"Wait," I raise my hand. "Can I have one?"

Adrian raises an eyebrow suspiciously. I try to pull it off casually and sigh, rolling my eyes. "Please?"

This convinces him, and he hands me the pack. I take a step back and chunk it. The pack goes flying over the courtyards. All the while, Adrian stares in disbelief, his mouth gaping. 'Bout time I get rid of those darn things.

"What'd you do that for!" He yells.

I shrug. "That was much needed. Thanks, Adrian," I pat him on the shoulder and walk back inside, leaving him to stare into the distance and wonder where his cigarettes went.

Truthfully, it was much needed. I feel a little bad for doing that, but I hate when he smokes. And it helped blow off some steam. Although, it's nice to know it will take him a while to get another pack, so it all works out.

_Eh, he'll get over it. _I think to myself.

The party seems to have gone down-hill. From the corner of my eye I see Kirova, Dimitri, and Dr. Olendzski with Tasha, who are all sitting in the stands on a cushion make-shift bed. Dimitri spots me as soon as I walk in and seems to say 'Why did you come back?'. I rip my gaze from him and scan the crowd.

_ Lissa, where have you gone? _

I need to find Lissa. And then I need to get out of here.


	7. Chapter Seven

Lissa must be far gone, because I search the entire party without any signs of her or Christian. If anything, she probably went to the Chapel. I want to confirm my assumption, but just then I see Dimitri walking towards me. I take a deep breath, and walk up to him. My surroundings are a blur, really. I don't pay attention to anything except what's in front of me. And that's Dimitri. We reach each other a few feet from the dancing crowd.

"Dimitri, what is it?" I ask him, laying a hand on his arm. He has a stern expression on his face, which scares me a little.

"Get out before they figure out it's you," he tells me. "I'll tell them you left with Lissa a long time ago. Got it?"

"What about Tasha?" I question.

He shakes his head. "I'll take care of it. Right now, you're my priority," A spark of love blazes inside of me. "So get out while you can."

"I'm sorry we couldn't have a longer time together," I manage to say. "Before you leave, I just-"

"I'll come by your dorm later. For now, just get out. Now."

I nod and turn away from Dimitri, walking outside. Adrian is gone and so is anyone else walking around the campus. I bet my life they heard about Tasha Ozera and are probably doing some sort of thing to help her. I wonder if Tasha will be taken to the infirmary. Something deep inside me feels really bad, and guilty, that I did something like that to someone I know and trust. I

I think about what Dimitri said, about coming to see me later. I don't know when or even if he will come, but I want to be there when he comes by. It could be hours, but I don't care. As long as I can say a temporary goodbye. It won't be long before he comes back to confirm that Tasha won't be his assignment much longer. He'll come back and protect Lissa, alongside me.

By the time I'm in my dorm, the moon is at its highest peak. I slam the door behind me and tear off the borrowed dress, throwing it onto my bed. It reminds me of the time I had with Dimitri with the lust spell. . .

_Snap out of it!_

I listen to the annoying little voice in my head and dress in black skinny jeans and a white T-shirt. I wait around for a long time, staring out the window, rearranging items, cleaning up my closet, and still Dimitri hasn't come. I decide to see where Lissa is, to make sure she's okay. I sit down on my bed and concentrate.

_Concentrate, Rose. _

I slip into Lissa's mind and immediately regret it. She and Christian are yet again in another make-out session. Christian leans back and I get a good glimpse of their surroundings. They are in a courtyard. Nearby is the girl's Moroi dorm.

"We left the party early," Lissa says, not caring to reapply her lipstick. It's probably smeared all over Christian's face. I shudder.

"So?" Christian says. He seems relaxed, happy.

Lissa shrugs. "I don't know. I was going to hang out with Rose."

I feel a twinge of anger at how Christian probably dragged her with him so they could do exactly this. Then again, if not for Christian dragging her out, I might not have gotten the time with Dimitri. I feel thankful that.

"We can go back," Christian tells her, standing up and wrapping his jacket tightly around him.

I hope she doesn't. Now when Tasha's bleeding all over the place.

"No, no," Lissa says. "I mean. . . I don't know."

I slip out of her mind, making sure to get out before she gets too emotional. I really hope she doesn't come back. If she does, who knows what will happen. Lissa will eventually find out I connected my fist with Tasha's face. And Christian? I have no idea what his reaction will be. I only hope he doesn't try to keep Lissa away from me because I socked his aunt. Oh, I hope that doesn't happen.

My dorm now feels empty, like I have no one to confide in. And really, I don't. At least now right now. All I have now is myself and until Dimitri comes, I'll be on my own. I have the urge to go see Lissa, but I'm sure I'd end up blurting out what I did. Adrian doesn't seem like much help, probably off searching in the bushes for his pack of cigarettes. I laugh at the thought.

Someone knocks on my door.

_Oh, God._

I don't know whether it's guardians coming to get me, to take me away and take me to Kirova to punish me. Or maybe it's Tasha, coming to punch me back. Revenge, payback, whatever you call it. I only hope it's Dimitri. No one else, I silently pray to myself. I walk over to the door and pull it open. Dimitri stares straight ahead as he walks in. I shut the door behind him.

"Dimitri, I-"

"Don't, Rose," he says.

I inhale deeply, letting the breath back out. "What happened after I left?"

"Tasha's nose is broken," I have to say, I feel a twinge of pride, but immediately feel bad about it. "She was taken to Doctor Olendzki's office for some bandages and pain pills, stuff like that."

"Is it really bad?" I ask, concern flooding into me for what I did to Christian's aunt.

He shakes his head. "Not too bad. She'll be up and walking tomorrow or something like that."

"Good," I say.

"Rose, why did you punch her?" Dimitri asks, running his slender fingers through his long brown hair.

I sit down on the bed and Dimitri does the same. I feel that eccentric feeling inside me, and lay my head on his shoulder.

"I don't know," I admit. "Everything's just been crazy lately. I don't understand my feelings right now, Dimitri."

"So you thought it would be good to take it out on Tasha?"

"I don't know. . ." I say. "She's one of my problems, I guess."

"Rose, I know you have more control than that," Dimitri says. I look down at my feet and think about what the real problem is. Lissa? Christian? Tasha? What about Dimitri?

I reply with, "Dimitri, I made a mistake. Can't it just be over with?"

"No, Rose, it can't!" He says angrily, standing up and pacing the length of the room. Not very much space, but I guess it suits him fine.

"I know," I say, hating to admit something like that. "Dimitri, look. I understand my mistake, and I'll fix it later. But you can't worry about this. You have more important things to attend to."

"What if she tells, Rose?" Dimitri looks at me with stern eyes.

"She won't," I stand and walk over to Dimitri. I stand in his way so he can't pace anymore. "You and I both know Tasha; she won't tell."

"You broke her nose, Rose," Dimitri says.

"I already know that."

"Do you know how bad this is?" He shouts at me. "Do you have any idea what you just did?"

"And broke her nose." I add snidely. Dimitri storms over and grabs my arms, pulling me out of my seat.

"Do you know how bad this is?" He shouts at me. "Do you know what's going to happen?"

Dimitri stalks over to me and grabs my arms, pulling me off the bed and glaring at me.

"Do you?" He shouts, asking that same question.

I try to get out of his grasp, but he's stronger than me. I curse under my breath and scream, "yes! I understand!"

"You might get in trouble, Rose!" Dimitri says. I wince as his grip tightens. He notices, and his eyes soften as he loosens his grip.

"So? I can take care of myself, Dimitri!"

"Can you, Rose?" Dimitri says, his voice barely above a whisper. I stare at his handsome features, his lips that I had once kissed so passionately. "Can you?"

"Yes, I can."

"Rose, this is serious." Dimitri releases his strong grip. Already are blue and brown bruises forming on my arms. _That ought to hurt in the morning._

"You don't think I know that?"

"I don't think you know anything about the consequences," Dimitri tells me. "Do you?"

I shrug. "I'll figure it out."

Dimitri stares down at me, his eyes burning into mine. I feel as if he's trying to look into the deepest parts of my soul, which is sort of uncomfortable. I turn away from him, fixing my eyes on the dark sky outside. Anything is better than facing Dimitri.

"I'll talk to Tasha," Dimitri says. I can tell he's already forming a plan in his head. "Maybe I can talk some sense into her about this whole thing. She just might understand."

I scoff. "She'll understand that I punched her out of spite? I highly doubt that, Comrade."

"I'll figure something out," He reassures me.

"_We'll _figure something out," I correct him. "After all, I'm the one that punched her."

"Right," Dimitri says. "I need to go check on her."

I nod and Dimitri heads towards the door. As he turns the knob, I grab his hand. "Dimitri, wait."

"What?" He turns to me.

"You're leaving tomorrow."

"I know."

I take a deep breath. "Shouldn't we say goodbye?" I ask him.

He raises an eyebrow. "We can tomorrow, Rose. There's always tomorrow."

"Right," I say and release his hand. The door opens wider and Dimitri stares at me with one last glance of longing. He steps away from the open door and walks up to me.

"Goodbye, Roza." He plants a kiss on my forehead and leaves me to myself, to think about all that has happened.

"Goodbye, Dimitri," I whisper, even though he is gone.

I crawl into bed, throwing the cover over my head. I trace the place that Dimitri had kissed me, and before I know it, I'm falling into a deep and what feels like an ever-lasting sleep.

* * *

The sun leaking past the curtains manage to wake up before the moon rises. It's setting, so in a few hours the Moroi and Dhampirs will get up and go to school. As hard as I try, I can't go back to sleep, so I decide to go ahead and get ready. Being this early for the Moroi and Dhampir, no one is in awake in the building. The shower water is freezing against my skin and when I try to make it warm, I end up making it too bloody hot. My blood is flowing though, so that helps.

The sun is barely visible when I come out of the shower. I dress in denim and a red tank-top which suits me. I lace on tennis shoes and walk out of my dorm. As long as no one sees me, I'm fine. I make my way across campus to the church, which I enter as quietly as I can. I know that the Chapel is Lissa and Christian's place, but I can't help but climb the stairs up to it. I flip on an old dusty lamp and pull out a book on Physics from my book bag, propping it on my knees and flipping to page 57.

I wake up a couple hours later, the book having fell off my lap and onto the dirty floor. I curse and pick it up, looking around the room for some sort of clock or something to tell the time. It's second period. Great, just great. I rush out of the church and into the main building, heading towards my class.

"How many times am I going to catch you late, Ms. Hathaway?" Kirova's voice sounds. I swivel on my heel to face her.

"Headmistress Kirova, how nice to see you. . . Again," I say through gritted teeth. You have got to be kidding me!

Kirova sighs, tapping her manicured nails on her cheek. She looks like she does every other day. "Hmm," She purrs.

_What now?_ "Headmistress Kirova?"

"Hm?"

"Whatcha doing?" I try to ask as coolly as I can. If I can't get out of this, I might as well lighten the mood. Just a bit.

"I'm deciding whether or not to punish you," She says, dragging on the _you. _God, why now? Why now!?

I sigh and say, "Look, I-"

"Usually I'd give you detention or some sort." Kirova says. "But since today is quite celebratory and sorrowful, I'll excuse it."

"Celebratory and sorrowful?" I ask with a raised brow. "Did someone you didn't like die?"

"No!" She snaps. "One of St. Vladimir's best guardians are leaving."

I thought this was supposed to be a secret to most. I guess Kirova didn't count. "You mean Dimitri Belikov."

Kirova's eyes widen. "How do you know?"

I laugh loudly. "He's my trainer. Don't you think he would have told me?"

"Perhaps," Kirova says.

"Can I go then?" I point towards the direction of my class. Kirova tells me I can, and I rush off towards my class. All heads turn towards me as I take a seat and open up my book. I'm sure my cheeks are bright red, but I don't exactly care. Who cares if I'm late?

* * *

"I actually think I'm going to miss Guardian Dimitri," Lissa sighs as she looks up at the branches of a tall Oak.

"Hm?" I say. It's identical to the one Kirova purred earlier. "Why is that?"

Lissa barely knows Dimitri. He's only her guardian, someone to protect her from the forces of evil, the Strigoi. Only a few people know the real Dimitri. One of them is I, Rose. So how can she say she will miss him if she doesn't even know him? Will she miss him because of the way he's so graceful when he fights to protect her? Maybe something like that?

"I don't know," Lissa says. "He's a good guardian. Don't you think. . . Rose?"

"Huh?" I come back into reality and stare at Lissa. She groans.

"Off in la-la land again?" She asks.

"No," I say. "I'm off in Rose-world."

Lissa laughs. "Figures."

"And no, he's not a good guardian."

"Rose!" Lissa shoves me playfully.

I shrug. "He's a great guardian, one of the best."

"Yes," Lissa agrees. "He's one of the best, I guess. At least I still have you, Rose."

That makes me feel a little better, to know someone still needs me. Just last night I was thinking about how I was feeling alone. Truth is, I've never been alone; I never will be How ridiculous I was being, or at least that's what I think. It would be nice to have someone to confide in every once in a while.

"They'll be in the garage," I tell her.

"I know," Lissa says. "Christian already told me."

"Is he there?" I ask

"I think so," Lissa says. "He wanted to have a private goodbye with Tasha."

"Oh," I say. I sort of wish I had a private goodbye with Dimitri. Yesterday didn't exactly count, but I would take as many goodbyes as I could from him. It hurts for him to say goodbye, but I have to accept it. It's better if I accept it now than deny it later.

"Here we are!" Lissa and I walk into the garage. Tasha and Christian stand near a black, window-tinted Honda. Tasha narrows her eyes at me but doesn't say anything. I stare incredulously at the bandage on her chin, running all the way to the middle of her left cheek. Guilt floods into me, but no other feelings.

Two guardians stand nearby, their arms behind their back. They're probably here to drive Tasha and Dimitri to the airport.

"Hey, Christian," I say and wave at him. He nods a greeting at me. _Does he know?_ "Tasha," I nod at her.

"Hello, Lissa," Tasha makes sure not to acknowledge my presence. I can't help but stare at the black and blue bruises that the bandages can't cover up. Her nose is wrapped up in many bandages.

"Tasha, what happened?!" Lissa asks horrified.

Tasha gulps, giving me a glance. "It's nothing, Lissa. Please, don't worry yourself."

"I wonder what the other person looks like," Christian comments snidely. "Probably worse."

"Don't make assumptions, Christian," I tell him, glowering.

"Are you okay?" Lissa asks, directed at Tasha.

Tasha nods. "Of course, Lissa."

"Where's Dimitri?" I ask coolly.

"He's packing a few things," Tasha informs me. I'm surprised she acknowledges my question. Or even my presence.

"Well, I wish him the best," I say, in which Tasha gives me a nasty look.

We wait for a long time in silence. I don't think I've ever been in such an awkward silent moment. I sort of want to ask Tasha how it feels getting punched by me, but I don't want Lissa and Christian knowing. I really have no idea why she didn't blurt out that I socked her. Perhaps it's embarrassing for her. If we switched places, I know I would be! Or maybe she's not telling because Dimitri. Oh, Dimitri. I wonder if he told her something, like to keep quiet. What had he done to keep her mouth shut?

"Lissa," Christian says. "I'll be riding with Tasha and Dimitri to the airport. I'll be getting a ride back after they fly off."

Lissa nods, surely disappointed.

"That's fine," she says with a bright smile. "I'll just hang out with Rose." She gives me an exciting glance. "Tasha, I hope you have a nice ride."

"Thanks," Tasha says.

The door opens and Dimitri stalks in. He looks gorgeous, and carries a suitcase. It feels like a stake to the heart, to know this isn't a dream. This is reality. He's really leaving, without any hesitance.

"You ready, Dimka?" Tasha asks him as the guardians pack up the luggage.

Even if he's coming back to me, I'll be alone, without him, for a long time. Who knows how long? He promised he would come back, but when? A few weeks? A few months? Maybe even years?

"Yes." Dimitri throws his suitcase into the trunk of the Honda, not letting the other guardians do so.. He turns to face all of us. "Vasilisa," He stares at Lissa. "It's been a pleasure being your guardian."

I just want to melt, just once. The more goodbyes he says, the harder it is for me to let him go.

"Thanks," Lissa says. No doubt she doesn't know what to tell him. "I hope you have a wonderful time with Tasha. She deserves a guardian like you."

Dimitri nods and turns to Christian. "I'll take good care of your aunt."

"You better," Christian says to him. A small smirk tugs at the edges of Dimitri's gorgeous lips.

Finally, he turns to me. And, oh God, how I just want to run into his arms and tell him goodbye. Last night wasn't fair, the way we said goodbye, the way he kissed my forehead. It was as if he was trying to get me to beg him to stay.

"Rose," I know that these will be the last words he says to me for a long while. I take a deep breath and stare at him, taking in everything about him. "It was a pleasure to be your trainer. You'll be a great guardian."

I nod. "Yeah, well, I'll think about you every time I stake a Strigoi, Comrade."

I'm surprised that Dimitri hugs me. It's not compassionate, more like business-like. When he releases me, I realize I have been holding in my breath. I exhale and watch as Dimitri, Tasha, Christian, and the two guardians load into the Honda. The engine revs to life and like that. . . just like that. . . Dimitri Belikov is gone.

Out of my life.

* * *

Lissa and I walk out of the garage and down the pathway. I know that she doesn't know about me and Dimitri, but it hurts a lot. Nothing can really console me right now. I figure I shouldn't mope, and I definitely won't cry. No, crying just doesn't come naturally or easily to me. All I know is that I'll allow the small sorrow that I'll drag through until he comes back.

If he comes back, that is.

"Hey, I need to get something out of my locker," Lissa says. "I'll be right back. Stay right here!"

"Sure thing," I tell her and sit down on a nearby bench. Lissa runs off, disappearing into one of the buildings. I appreciate this small moment I have to myself. All to myself and no one else.

"Rose?" Well that didn't last long. I turn to see Alberta, the head guardian around here. She waves her hand. "Follow me please."

I stand up and follow Alberta to the guardian building. Somehow, I just know that this is about Tasha, 'bout how I punched, and broke, her nose. Oh, please don't let the punishment be too bad!

I walk into the building and am taken by surprise. Along the wall I see about six novices. I spot Eddie immediately, the rest are unbeknownst to me. Alberta asks me to stand in the line and I do, putting my hands behind my back like the rest.

"Now that you're all here," Alberta says. "I can explain." A few of the novices shift uncomfortably. What is this all about? "As you know, you are a couple months away from graduation." Happy nods and smiles on the novice's faces. "Well, there's been a change."

"What change?" A novice named Kathie Lee asks.

Alberta leans against the desk. "There's a family up in the Montana mountains. There were some Strigoi hanging around outside the borders. The guardians went to deal with the problem, but they were. . . Unsuccessful."

Eddie leans towards me. "What is this about?"

"I don't know," I whisper back. "Now sh. Listen."

"-Anyways, the family is now without guardians and they need one immediately." Alberta says. "We've already found a trained, promised guardian from the Court. But we need one more. Since we have a shortage of Dhampir guardians, we will temporarily have a novice be guardian until we can find a permanent guardian. We'll be sending a novice to protect the family until further notice."

We all look at each other nervously.

"You're dismissed," Alberta says. We all line up and make our way out of the building. I immediately separate from the others and go to where Lissa and I were. Lissa looks around confused until she sees me.

"Hey!" She yells. "I thought I told you to _stay here."_

"I know," I say. "Sorry. Guardian meeting."

Lissa frowns and asks, "Is everything alright?"

"Just peachy," I say with a big smile on my face. Lissa smiles back and we link our arms.

"I'm hungry," Lissa says and we walk towards the cafeteria, no questions asked.

All the while, I have a plan forming in my mind.

I know exactly what I'm going to do. . .


	8. Chapter Eight

Six novices.

Including me, that's seven. The plan, in my head, is absolutely crazy. That family needs a temporary guardian. But how long is temporary to them? To me, temporary can mean a few weeks, maybe two or three months. To them, it could mean years, many, many years.

But as much as I think about it, I know that I can do it. I can be a temporary novice guardian. I'd be back by graduation probably, just in time to get my Promise mark. What about Lissa though? Could my leaving, even if temporary, hurt her? But this chance, it's the chance of a lifetime. It can help me advance as a guardian. Maybe I can even be considered as Lissa's guardian, seeing that my slate isn't the cleanest.

If Alberta were to pick someone, it will probably be Eddie. If not, someone else that'll be lucky enough to be picked. If I was chosen though, that would be interesting. I would only leave Lissa for a little while. Not too long, I'm sure I can promise her that.

I sigh and sit back in my chair. The time seems to fly by when I think about such things. Though it must not be long. Lissa is still in the feeding room. I'm too light-headed to go in there with all that is going on. To think that only ten or so minutes have passed by since the great Dimitri left. Maybe if he were here, I could talk to him. He would know exactly what to do, what to say to help me come to a conclusion. It's just so frustrating!

"Hey, Rose." Eddie slides in to the chair across from me. I sit up straighter and make sure to clear my face of any emotions that might lead him to question what I'm thinking about. I can't have anyone asking me questions right now. Especially Eddie. For all I know, we could already be in a competition for the spot.

"Oh hi, Eddie." I address him casually. So much to say and ask, but I just can't.

"Listen, I wanted to talk about. . ." He trails off, his eyebrows furrowing deeply, creating a deep crevice between his eyes.

"About the meeting." I say.

"Yeah." He says. "Do you think that was. . . Sort of crazy?"

"Why would you think that?" I struggle to keep the curiousity in my voice to a low.

"I dunno." He sighs. He's obviously facing the same thing I am, only he's too shy to actually try and talk about it. "Why would they ask a novice like us to volunteer for such a thing? You know?"

I shrug, playing with the plastic spoon in my hand, intertwining it between my fingers. God, I'm so hungry! "You heard Alberta. She told us they're running low on guardians."

"Yeah, but are we even experienced enough?" He asks, his voice lowering to a whisper. Why so secretive? I want to ask him.

"Did you see that room?" I ask incredously. "There were only six, excluding me. There are lots of novices here, and they only picked seven. One of them is _you_, Eddison Castile, you should know this. They are obviously only bringing the best novices into the situation."

"You take in a lot of information in that short meeting." Eddie notes. "And, if you're right about it, if they're only asking the best novices, then you should look at yourself. Miss Rose Hathaway would be perfect for the job."

"Not true." I spit out, a little annoyed that he actually thought that. I really do wish he had used sarcasm. I don't want to be placed on a pedestal by Eddie, not anyone actually.

"It is true, Rose." He says. "Did you see Alberta?"

"See her do what?"

"God, you're clueless!" He shouts. Luckily no one hears though. "She kept. . . How do I say it. . . . She kept looking at you with this. . . . . . This weird look in her eyes. Like she knew, like she really _knew _that. . ."

"That what?" I cross my arms, a hint of challenge in my voice.

Eddie sighs and leans forward, looking straight into my eyes. I don't look away. "Like you were just standing higher than the rest of us. Like she knew that out of all of us, you'd be it."

"That's crazy." I murmur. "I'm not that good."

"Don't be modest, Rose." Eddie says. "You know I'm right."

"Lie." I say. "And I'm not modest. Alberta doesn't place me above the rest of you novices. Just because of. . ."

"Because of your skills? Because of your strength? Because of your courage? Because of what, Rose, because of what?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, Eddie!" I shout at him.

"Oh, trust me, I'm not."

"You're driving me crazy." I say.

"Because you're acting like what I'm saying is all wrong and fake to you!"

"I don't want you placing me on a pedestal!" I warn him blandly.

"I don't have to." Eddie says. "Everyone else already does."

I'm taken aback by this statement. In some sense, there are people who place me on a pedestal. Not that I like it, of course. But hearing it from a fellow novice like Eddie, a good friend of mine, is like getting hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

"Well if you feel that way," I stand up, my chair skidding across the floor making a loud _SSSS _noise. I wince at the horrible sound. "I'll just be on my way."

"Probably off to build a pedestal I suppose." Eddie mutters.

I shoot him a look of disgust and reply with, "Oh why don't you go-"

"Rose?" Lissa's voice barely whispers from behind me. "Eddie?"

I turn, replacing the ugly scowl on my face into a small smile. I only hope she buys it. "Hey, Liss. Ready to go?"

"Uh. . . I guess so." She glances nervously between Eddie and I. I snatch her hand in mine and drag her out of the cafeteria before she can say anything. I glance behind me right before we exit only to see that Eddie is quietly staring ahead of him.

I walk fast, ignoring any looks people give me or who passes me. My objective is to get away from Eddie. Lissa trails behind, on my heels. I hear her huffing and puffing.

"Rose." Lissa calls after me. "Rose!" She grabs my arm and yanks me backwards. I'm surprised by her strength, and even though I don't want to turn, I do it anyway. I look straight at her, like Eddie did with me.

"What?"

Lissa searches my face for God knows what. "What happened in there?"

"Nothing." I say and walk away.

"You're lying." Lissa says, pulling me back to her. "Something happened. Feel like telling me?"

"Lissa," I say, a little aggravated. "It's just some guardian stuff. Nothing that concerns you."

"But it does!" Lissa whines. "It concerns me, it _worries _me. So just tell me!"

I scowl. "Can't you just leave it alone, Liss?"

"No!" Lissa yells. "Rose, you're my best friend. I _know _when something worries you."

I take a deep breath and reply with, "I am your best friend, and you're mine. But, if we are best friends, you need to trust me when I say. . . It's nothing, I'm fine."

"Promise you're okay?" Lissa says, holding out her pinkie finger.

I raise an eyebrow. "Isn't that a little childish to do?"

Lissa rolls her eyes. "Just promise me."

"Fine." I link my pinkie with hers.

That's a promise I can't really promise, because, in truth, I'm not fine. I'm anything _but _fine.

* * *

The next day comes and I shower and dress in cut-off shorts and a T-shirt. I try and forget about my fight with Eddie, and my promise to Lissa. I have to try my best to be fine. Just until news comes from Alberta. On my way out, I grab my bag and tie my hair back, letting my Monija marks show. The air outside is a bit chilly, and with my hair damp, it's even colder. In the distance, I hear the bell ring.

"Crap, late again." I begin jogging towards my first class, but see Alberta walking in the opposite direction.

"Rosemarie," She says calmly. "Would you come with us?"

"Us?" I ask.

I see someone I didn't see before, a woman behind Alberta. The woman has pale blonde hair with grey streaks lined in it, her green eyes smiling. I can't place a name on her at all, but I know she's Moroi. From her pale skin to the type of body most Moroi have. I slowly nod and the woman turns, along with Alberta, towards the direction of the guardian building. It's not far, and we reach it without interruption. I don't dare talk until we're inside. Only two other novices stand against the wall, Eddie and a boy I think is called Gerry. Eddie makes sure not to look at me, so I stand beside who I think is Gerry.

"Hello, Eddie, Gerry, and Rose." Alberta says, definetely in guardian mode. "You're probably wondering who this woman is."

I nod, and Gerry says, "Yeah, I guess so."

The woman with pale blonde hair steps forward, a smile on her face. Who is she?

"My name is Vivian Conta." She announces.

_Oh. . . My. . . God._

She's the woman in need of a temporary guardian.

She's my one chance. . .


	9. Chapter Nine

I swallow the lump in my throat, rub off the sweat on my palms. Sure, I can face Strigoi, no problem. But facing a chance like this? A woman like Vivian? A chance to leave just for a little while? Now there's a problem. . .

With Vivian, I can escape St. Vladimir's. Just for a little while. Because I know that deep down inside, I'm still crazy sad about Dimitri. Only yesterday had he left, and I'm already digging deep and throwing dirt over it. Dimitri and I made an agreement, he'd come back. I can't spend all my time worrying about when. What I _can _do is escape the feelings inside me, the turmoil that, while Vivian Conta talks about a desperately needed guardian, digs itself out of the deepest and darkest parts of my heart and mind.

I realize that I'm still not over Dimitri, nor will I ever be. He left me, if for forever or just a little while doesn't matter. He made a scar, one that can't be erased. One that I can fix if I just leave temporarily. It can work. All I have to do is convince Vivian Conta that I'm right for the job.

"Two of the our guardians, our only guardians, Louis and Paul," Vivian says. "were brutally. . . Killed by a couple Strigoi hanging around our borders. Seeing Strigoi so close to our home, well, made us feel unsafe." Vivian swallows hard. "Though we did weep at our loss of two guardians, we needed two _immediately_. We were lucky enough to get one from the Court, but we're still in need of one more."

"Who's the other?" Gerry asks, stepping out of line.

Alberta glances at Vivian who only nods and replies, "Jack Chang."

"Never heard of him." Gerry mumbled.

"I knew that." Vivian pointed out. "I wouldn't expect you to."

"Anyway!" Alberta steps forward, clearly directing narrowed eyes at Gerry. "Continue please, Ms. Conta."

Vivian smiles and continues, "I obviously need to make a choice by tomorrow morning, when I leave. It'll be-"

_Tomorrow morning? _I panickingly think to myself.

That's not long enough. If I'm chosen, I'll have less than twenty-four hours to prepare to go and serve as a temporary guardian. I would barely have time to say goodbye to everyone, especially Lissa. And packing would be in crumbles. How could I pack that fast without forgetting something majorly important?

"-I really do wish I could have three guardians for my family." Vivian says. I mentally slap myself for missing half of her speech. "But as I said before, I'm lucky enough to get, not one, but two."

"Pick three than." Gerry snorts, rolling his eyes like it's not a big deal.

Vivian narrows her eyes and walks towards Gerry with long, graceful steps. It somewhat reminds me of a swan. The _Click, Clack _of her red heels make this even more unbarable.

"Excuse me. . . Gerry?" Vivian spits. It's obvious Gerry is out of the competition. So, so very obvious.

"Uh. . ." Gerry's stutters, his eyes going wide.

"Back-talking isn't appreciated." She says, turning away and flipping her long pale hair and striding back to her spot beside Alberta.

Holy mother of God. . .

"As I was saying." She says tight-lipped. "I'll be having meetings with all of you, tell yo a bit of what you're to expect and what's to be expected." She directs her gaze at Gerry. "You're first."

Gerry doesn't move from his spot in between Eddie and I. He seems frozen in place, stuck like glue is holding his feet to the ground.

"Now!" Vivian shouts and he starts moving, stumbling over a chair leg. Vivian huffs and leads him into a room to the right. I barely get a glimpse into the room, and the door slams. I let my breath out, not realizing I've been holding it in all this time.

Alberta looks at Eddie and I. "Good luck to you both." She walks into a different room from the one Vivian and Gerry stepped into. It's just me and Eddie now.

Eddie's the first to break the silence. "Is it just me or is Vivian Conta a little. . ."

"Cocamamie?"

"Not in one's right mind?"

"Foolish?"

We both laugh at all the weird names we come up with to describe Vivian Conta. I still can't forgive Eddie though, after what he said to me. . .

I clear my throat. "More like. . . a no-nonsense business-like woman."

"Perfect." Eddie says with a wink. "Mind writing that down for me?"

"To do what with?" I ask.

"Maybe I'll create a blog." He shrugs.

I laugh. "Or write a book."

"'The no-nonsense, business-like life of Vivian Conta.'" Eddie motions a square with his hands, like he's imagining a sign or billboard. "I can totally see that being a best-seller."

"I'm sure you can." It surprises me that Eddie can be so laid-back and humorous when, after getting fed on by Strigoi, he's serious and business-like, just like Vivian.

"I think Gerry's a goner." I come back to the serious stuff.

"Yeah, he's already been booted out of the voting." Eddie says.

"What happened to all the others? Kathie Lee?" I manage to ask.

"Hmm. I guess they're just not qualified for the job."

I nod. "I'm surprised I'm still here."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Not this again."

"No!" I step in front of him, hands on hips. "I don't mean it that way. I'm not being modest. . . I just expected. . ."

"Expected what?" Eddie asks.

"I really do want you to get this temporary guardian thing." I say, ignoring his question.

"Trust me," Eddie says as he places a hand on my shoulder. "You need it more than I do."

"Hey!" I slap his hand away playfully. "Just because-"

"Rosemarie?" I turn to see Vivian staring at me. I nod and follow her into the room. On the way in, I pass Gerry who seems a little shocked.

_That makes me feel a lot better_.

The room isn't like I expect it to be. I expected it to be like an interviewing room in a police department with cold metals chair and a light shining directly into your eyes, making your forehead sweat like crazy. The room is actually cozy, with four wooden chairs formed in a perfect circle in the middle of a room. An unlit fireplace stands at one end of the room and a map of St. Vladimir's borders plastered on the other's wall. I take a seat in one of the snug chairs, making sure to sit tall and proud.

"So, Rosemarie, how are you?" Vivian sits down, crossing her legs and placing perfectly manicured fingers on her chin.

"I'm okay." I say. "Could you call me Rose?"

"Of course." She says with a smile. Phew. . .

"So, an interview right?" I ask, motioning around the room.

"Yes." Vivian replies.

I clear my throat without being too loud. "What kind of questions are you going to ask me?"

"You're the one that ran away with the Dragomir princess?"

"Ooh, those kind of questions." I mumble. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"You guess?" Vivian purrs. "Interesting."

"Is it?"

She laughs. "I'm just observing."

"Ditto."

"Why'd you run away?" Vivian asks.

"That's sort of personal."

"I'm sorry for my interventance."

"It's fine."

This is just awkward. I take deep breaths, staying in unison with Vivian's breathing. I don't know what to say or do around her, a Royal Moroi I know nothing about. If it were Lissa, it would be a totally different story. But this is a Conta. . .

"Why do you think you deserve this job?" Vivian asks.

"Well, I'm more experienced than most novices." I pull up my hair and show her my Molnija marks on the back of my neck. I hear Vivian say a long "Hmmmmm" in response. "And I'm hard-working."

"Is that all you have to offer?" Vivian challenges.

I scoff. "Of course not."

"What else then?"

I think for a minute, then say, "I'm smart, quick, I like to think of myself as funny, I'm. . . I don't know. . . Brave?"

"Is this something you really want?"

"Duh." Uh-oh. "I mean. . . Uh. . . I mean yes, it's something I really want."

Vivian scoots closer to me and leans in.

"Rose, I have three children who need protection." She says. "If I _were _to hire you, I would be placing my and my children's life in _your hands_. If something were to happen. . ."

"I assure you, it won't." I say.

"I should hope so."

"But," I say. "If you decide not to choose me, you just _have _to pick Eddison Castile."

"Why is that?"

"He's perfect for the job." I brag. "I mean, he's everything a guardian is supposed to be."

"Isn't this about _you _and _your _getting of the job?"

I gulp. "Yes."

"You should be helping yourself more than your friend."

I nod fast. "Sure thing."

"Well, I have all I need. You may-"

"Wait!" I interrupt. "Three children, huh?"

I know that she isn't convinced I'm good for the job. This interview is going horribly, and I'm not helping myself at all. Maybe if I can't help myself on a business level, I can help myself on a personal level with Vivian Conta.

Vivian's face lights up like a lamp. It's her kids she's happiest about.

_Hook, line, and sinker._

"Yes." Vivian says. "Wren is the oldest, fourteen."

"That's cool." I say

She nods, gazing into the distance like she's happily thinking of memories and such. "Then there's Henry, he's eight. And Alexis, only five."

"What about your husband?"

The line snaps, taking the hook and sinker with it. Vivian's face turns sinister, almost ugly for such a pretty woman.

"Mister Conta is no longer involved with any of us." She says.

"Oh." I say quietly.

"Well, you may go." She says, waving her hand to the door. "I'll be making my decision tomorrow morning."

I nod and stand, shaking her hand before I go. Any chance of getting this job is gone. I'm a goner, just like Gerry.

I walk out of the room and see Eddie stand up out of the corner of my eye. I turn to him and say, "I gave you a little boast."

"Thanks." He murmurs and walks into the room. I hear the door shut behind him.

It's going to be him, I just know it. It's without a doubt going to be Eddie Castile. Why, oh why had I bragged about _his _skills and not mine? Stupid, Rose, stupid! I run out of the building and towards my room. St. Vladimir's students pass by, walking to their next class. I just need to breath without anyone else around. Then I'll go to class and everything can return to normal again.

* * *

I stand over the toilet, gagging. For some odd reason, I feel like I'm going to puke any minute. The reasons are endless, from the interview with Vivian Conta, to the feeling of Dimitri's presence being gone digging out of me. Everything is trying to flood to the top, including my body's reaction to nervousness and anxiety. God, I need to puke.

A knock on the stall door.

"You done yet?" A high-pitched voice asks from the other side. It's obvious the girl is annoyed at my taking so long.

"Go away before I throw your face into a dirty trashcan." I shout.

In response, I hear fast footsteps clicking against the tiled floor. A door slams and I'm alone again. I sigh and lean back, holding on to my stomach as tight as I can.

"Ugh." I moan and groan to myself for another ten minutes before I feel okay enough to leave the bathroom. I walk like a zombie, dragging my feet and all. Everyone's in class by now, so I make my way to Culinary Science. There's a substitute teacher today and she gives me a dirty look as I hand in my overdue homework.

I slip into the seat next to Christian and let my head fall into my arms.

"Bonjour, class." The teacher says. Oh great, the substitute is French! "I heard that yesterday, Monday, you began learning on how to make Pain de noix de banane."

"Say what?" Someone in the back asks.

The French substitute rolls her eyes. "Banana nut bread."

The room is filled with ooh-ing and aah-ing.

"From the looks of it, you all _failed _at making the bread without burning, dropping, or forgetting an essential ingredient." A few agreements from the class. "Today you better do better. You may begin."

Christian does most of the work, with me handing him the ingredients while he mixes, sets the oven on a certain degree, and follows all the instructions. I hand him some banana slices.

"You know, you could be a homemaker with that apron on." I say with a smirk on my face. My stomach clenches at the smell of food.

"Shut up, Hathaway." Christian mutters and shoves the tray into the oven.

"My pleasure." I say and lean my head against my hand, feeling like I'm going to pass out.

"I saw Lissa today." He says.

I gasp. "You saw the rare Lissa Dragomir!" I make sure he hears the sarcasm. "You _never _see her nowadays."

"God, you're annoying."

"I thought you told me to shut up?" I say with a raised eyebrow.

Christian replies with, "I changed my mind."

"Whatever." I say.

"Anyways." Christian says. "She didn't see you at breakfast, so she went on and on about how you were probably at another guardian meeting."

"So what?"

"You're not a guardian."

"I will be."

Christian claps, quiet enough not to attract attention. "I never noticed that."

"You should go back to Kindergarten then." I whisper to him. "Or take some attention medicines."

"Maybe I will."

"Good job." I tell him and check the bread. Nowhere close to being ready. I pick up a toothpick and play around with it.

Christian sighs. "What was it about?" He asks.

I pretend to act bored. He can't know what's going on. "Same old, same old."

"Hear that?" Christian asks.

"What?" I sit up taller and look around, straining to hear something.

"Beep, beep, beep." Christian says continually. "It's my lie detector!"

I push his shoulder and falls back, barely catching himself on the corner on of the table. The French witch turns our way and yells "Sh!"

"I'm in a bad mood today, Ozera."

"You're always in a bad mood."

"That's not true."

"How so?"

"I'm always in a happier mood when I'm not around you."

He snorts. "That makes me feel so special that I make you, Hathaway, bipolar."

I stick my tongue out at him.

"Now can you be for real?" He asks, his tone getting serious. "What happened at the meeting?"

I sigh. I might as well tell him. "Just don't tell Lissa."

"I can't promise anything." He shrugs.

"There's a Moroi family who needs guardians, a Conta family, but there's a shortage on guardians right now." I explain. "And so a novice is needed until a permanent replacement comes in."

"So they picked you?"

"Not yet."

"Oh, good." Christian says with a happy sigh.

"Why?" I ask.

"Oh nothing." He says. "It'd just be _horrific _if the family had to put up with _you _as their guardian."

I giggle. "Perhaps."

"So it might be you?"

"It's only temporary." I remind him.

Christian looks around and whispers, "You're willing to leave Lissa?"

"For just a few weeks." I say.

"Don't you think she'll be hurt?" He asks. "What if it turns into something more than a temporary job?"

I bite my lip. That's exactly what I'm worried about. "It won't. I'll make sure of it."

"I certainly hope so."

I nod.

"I certainly hope so too." I say.

* * *

When I get back to my room, I get my only suitcase out of the closet. If Vivian Conta is making her choice tonight, and leaving tomorrow, I want to be prepared just in case. It really all depends on her decision, but it's better to be ready and packed than sorry later. I pack ten of everything (ten shirts, ten pants, ten bras, etc.). and a couple knick-knacks. I take a look around my room and check for anything I might need if I do go.

I take a deep breath. "Nothing more." I say to myself as I zip up the suitcase. "Ready to go."

Someone knocks on my door, so I stuff the suitcase into a corner and pile pillows on top, making it less obvious. I open the door just a peek and see Lissa standing there, her face red with anger.

"Hey, Liss-" I start, but Lissa interrupts me.

"Don't!" She pushes me aside and storms into the room. For a minute, she just surveys the room and then her eyes settle on the suitcase. She throws the pillows to the side and tips over the suitcase, unzipping it and throwing open to top. She looks over at me with hurt eyes.

"How could you not tell me!" She screams at me.

"Who told you?" I ask.

_Keep your cool, Rose_. I repeat to myself.

Lissa huffs. "Christian."

I throw my hands up in the air, exasperated. "That liar! He promised he wouldn't tell!"

"Were you never going to tell me?" Lissa asks.

"Of course I was." I tell her. "But now is not the time."

"Then when?" She shouts. "Tomorrow. . . When you leave!"

"Lissa, it's not like that." I hold up my hands, motioning for her to calm down.

She puts her face in her hands. "How can you, Rose! Leaving me before. . . Before it's even graduation!"

She looks up with accusing eyes. I take a few steps back, leaning against the wall for support. I can tell that Lissa is going to blow. Heck, she already is! I can't calm her down though. I just need to let her blow off some steam, then I'll explain.

But Christian.

Oh, when I see him again I'm going to wring his neck! He had no right to go and tell, of all people, _Lissa _about my plans. It was _my job _to tell her, not his. And Christian Ozera broke a promise. God, I feel like punching something. . .

"It's not permanent." I tell Lissa when she takes a break to breath. "Just a few weeks. It'll help me get some experience."

"You've had experience, Rose!" Lissa says. "Remember that time you and I ran off together? That's the best experience you can get with guardian training."

"Maybe." I shrug. "But this might even boost my chance of being _your _guardian."

The anger in Lissa's face drains like water in a tub. She stares with those big green eyes of hers for the longest time, just staring. I begin to grow uncomfortable, wondering if the next time she opens her mouth, she'll yell at me or accuse me of leaving her.

"I can't think right now!" Lissa rushes past me and out the open door. I gaze at her as she storms down the stairs and disappears from view.

"Oh, Lissa." I whisper to myself. "I've hurt you so badly. . ."


	10. Chapter Ten

I take off after Lissa, but change my direction towards the church. Lissa needs time to cool off and think about the situation a bit longer. So no, I won't bother Lissa while she gets ahold of things. Instead, I keep my focus on the church, specifically the attic.

I jog up the stairs to the attic, throwing open the door. Christian immediately stands, probably wondering if its his one and only love, Lissa.

"You idiot!" I throw a punch at Christian, but he barely blocks me.

"I had to, Rose." Christian says. "You wouldn't have told her."

"Yes I would!" I cry out and try to swing again; he blocks it yet again.

Christian stares at me and says, "would you have really told her?"

"Yes," I tell him, "I would have, Christian. I would have _had _to."

"You were going to wait until last minute, weren't you?"

I take a step back and look at my surroundings, at anything but Christian Ozera. To think just a few seconds ago I was about to punch _another _Ozera in the face.

"That's none of your business." I say.

Christian scoffs. "You were going to wait until. . . Like, ten minutes before you left!"

"Not that late!" I shout at him. "Besides, I haven't even gotten the job."

"_Yet_." Christian points out.

"_If_." I say. "_If _I get the job."

"You know you will, Rose. There's no other option."

"There's plenty more options." I throw my hands up. "Like Eddie Castile."

Christian shakes his head and walks around the dusty old attic room, shoving his hands in his pockets. I keep my eyes on him as he turns and walks the other direction; pacing I think that's what he's doing. After a few minutes, Christian swivels on his heel and points directly at me.

"Have you even thought about Lissa through all of your decisions?" He asks.

I cross my arms over my chest. "Of course I have."

"Liar."

"Shut up, Ozera!" I yell. "You don't know what I've thought about! You've never been in my mind!"

"I don't have to!" Christian shouts back at me. "I know you're probably too selfish to think about Lissa in this sort of situation!"

"I'm not selfish!"

"Cut it out!" The voice doesn't come from Christian nor I. I turn to see Lissa standing in the doorway, staring at us with disbelief.

"Lissa," Christian clears his throat, "h-how long have you been standing there?"

Lissa walks closer to us. "Long enough."

I stare at Lissa, and then at Christian. All these fights and arguments, they're no good. The ones Dimitri and I had before he left, and the ones Christian, Lissa, and I are having now are no good. Nothing good ever really comes out of such a stupid argument.

"Christian," Lissa directs her gaze at him, "Rose would've told me; you shouldn't have." Lissa turns to me and gives me the longest stare. "Rose, do what you want. I'm not stopping you. If it boosts your chance of becoming my guardian, then I'm in. Whatever your decisions, I'll readily stick with you through them all."

This, all of this, is why Vasilisa Dragomir should rule one day. She's a leader, and she knows how to fix arguments and help everyone relax through bad situations. Lissa was born to be a leader; never a follower.

"Thanks, Liss." I say. "Let's take a walk, shall we?"

* * *

Lissa and I walk through one of the many courtyards at the academy. Baby's Breaths and Violets are in full bloom, so the entire campus is just a big, big garden of purple and white. The smell of freshly cut grass fills my nostrils. Lissa strolls beside me, our arms linked together. It's at times like these that I enjoy have a friend like Lissa. I look over at her and see her eyes shut as she inhales the many new scents.

"I'm nervous." I blurt out before I can stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

Lissa opens her eyes and looks over at me. "About what?"

I shrug as we pace each step with the others. "I don't know if I can leave St. Vladimir's, or you."

"You should go, Rose." Lissa tells me, patting my hand.

"I'm not so easy to get rid of." I point out.

"You know what I mean." She says. "It's an experience of a life-time; it'll help you become my guardian so that we're together."

"I don't think I can though." I admit. "Leaving, even temporarily, sort of scares me."

Lissa gazes off at the sky, and I follow her stare.

"I see a flower." Lissa points at one cloud.

I nod. "Liss?"

"Just listen, Rose." Lissa stops me and grabs my arms, turning me to face her. She looks into my eyes and smiles. "You should go; you _need _to go. Don't you see? This is going to be worth it all."

I nod quickly. "I guess you're right."

"Tomorrow morning is when they make the decision?"

"Yep."

"If it's you - I know it will be you - you accept it, Rose." Lissa tells me. "Don't hesitate."

"Yeah, I'll try."

"You will try."

I realize I've held my breath. I exhale deeply and look at Lissa, "I will try." She gives me a smile. "No doubt."

* * *

At seven 'o clock in the morning, someone knocks on my door. I quickly throw off my blankets and throw on a pair of jeans and run to the door. When I open it, Alberta stands tall at my door; her hand raised as if she were about to knock again.

"Rose," she announces, "Ms. Vivian Conta has chosen you as her temporary guardian."

"Oh wow." I breath. "So no goodbye balloons?"

"Be ready in thirty minutes, Miss Hathaway." Alberta tells me and begins to walk off.

"Wait!" I yell after her. She turns and waits for whatever I need to tell her. "Can you contact Lissa Dragomir, Christian Ozera, and Adrian Ivashkov that I'm leaving? I want to say goodbye."

Alberta nods and leaves.

Thirty minutes.

I shut the door and turn to my closet, grabbing black jeans, a white T-shirt, a wool sweater, and combat boots. My shower is quick, and I barely have enough time to wash my hair. I look in the mirror and see, well, me. But I look different somehow. I lean in closer to the mirror and stare at my face, my appearance. What's so difference?

I notice the glazed sort of look I have in my eyes.

I shrug it off and turn to leave. Once back in my room, I pack up the rest of my suitcase, the necessities and all the rest. The room is almost empty, but it still has that touch of Rose in it. I grab the handle of my suitcase and sling my duffel bag over my shoulder and turn to leave.

When I arrive at the front gates of the academy, Lissa, Christian, Adrian, and Eddie are all waiting for me. The pitch-black SUV sits just a few feet away, the engine sputtering to life. Vivian Conta must already be in the car, or so I hope.

I hug Lissa first. It's a great big hug that neither of us want to let go. Lissa finally releases me and I lean back. I notice that Lissa has a few tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Lissa," I say. "I'll be back, I promise."

"I know you will." She whispers and we hug again.

I turn to Christian and immediately things just become flat-out awkward. I don't know what to do. Hug him? Shake his hand? What am I supposed to do with the boy who's aunt I punched and who I had a fight with just yesterday night?

Before I can say anymore, Christian pulls me into a quick, but friendly, hug. I nod at him and lean towards his ear.

"Take care of Lissa for me," I whisper very low. When I start to move towards Eddie, I see the promise in Christian's eyes. I know he'll take care of Lissa with everything he has.

"Bye, Eddie," I hug him and before I have time to reject his offer, he takes my suitcase and slides it in the back of the SUV.

Last is Adrian, with his clove-scented cigarettes and strong cologne. His hug is about as long as Lissa's, long and soaking up every little piece of me before I leave.

"Goodbye, Adrian," I kiss him on the cheek, nothing romantic; just a friendly peck on the cheek. "Don't drink too much."

A smirk creeps up on his face. "Goodbye, little dhampir. You'll miss my inhumanly good looks, won't you?"

"I believe I will," I say sadly. "You have your ways of contacting me."

I see that familiar glint in Adrian's eyes. "I'll see you in your dreams, little dhampir."

"Goodbye," I say and with that, I pile into the car, tears in my eyes. I roll down the window and gaze at my friends. The car begins to take off, and I start waving, the tears flowing from my face.

"Goodbye," I say to no one in particular.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Vivian Conta stares at me; probably because of the tears running down my face. I quickly wipe them away and look over at her. She gives me a reassuring smile before opening her mouth. It stays open for the longest time before she shuts it.

"I wish I knew what to say." Vivian says. She pats my knee and turns away.

_Am I making the right choice? _I wonder. There's no way to pin the answer down. One part of my mind is telling me I'm wrong and that I need to go back; the other half is telling me to keep going. I swallow against the lump in my throat and stare out the window. The Montana mountains are covered in a blanket of white, though the snow is beginning to melt faster than it ever did before. Or at least it is to me.

I turn to the driver. He wears black shades and a microphone piece in his ear. "Excuse me?" I clear my throat.

The driver finds my eyes in the rearview mirror and raises an eyebrow, waiting for whatever I have to say.

"How long is the ride there?" I ask, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans.

"Forty-five minutes." He answers as he focuses on the road; a sign that I need not bother him again.

Forty-five minutes is a long time. I'll have to last though. Leaving Lissa. . . leaving everything behind is hard. I can make it through this though, I tell myself over and over. I'm not a child. I can last for however long I need to. I can't be weak in a moment when my something is finally, is really happening that can help me for only good.

"You'll have the entire day to settle in," Vivian says, dropping a _Vogue _magazine on the seat between us, "tomorrow Jack will teach you everything you need to know."

"Oh good." I say.

"I'm very excited for you to meet my family, Rose. They're just the best thing in the world. . . . . to me at least."

"Awesome. . ." I know that I can't be any more nervous. All this time I have prepared myself to protect Lissa; not someone I don't know much about. Speaking of Lissa. . .

As soon as I assure myself that the conversation with Vivian is over, I lean back in my seat in concentrate. It's been a long while since I've been in Lissa's mind, so it takes an extra push to go into her mind.

The group of four are still at the gate. I've been on the road for, like, six minutes? They all sit in silence, sometimes staring off into the distance, where the SUV that I was in had disappeared behind a curve in the road.

"I miss her already." Lissa says and buries her face in Christian's shoulder. Guilt immediately hits me. I want to be the one to comfort her, but I can't since I'm gone.

"She won't be gone too long, Lissa." Christian assures her. A bit of the guilt lifts from my shoulders. At least I know that Christian will keep his promise, and he'll do much, much more.

"How long do you suppose?" Adrian asks, pulling a cigarette out of his chest pocket on his jacket and lights it. He sticks it between his teeth and smoke floats from his mouth.

"I don't know." Christian says. "Two weeks?"

"I'll bet longer than that."

"Why is that?" Christian inquires; his brows furrowed.

Adrian shrugs, "it's Rose we're talking about here."

"Fine. Three weeks." Christian holds out his hand. Adrian takes it and they shake.

"Are you guys seriously betting on how long Rose will be gone?"

_I feel so loved and missed. . ._

"Why not?"

I slip out of Lissa's mind. "Okay that's enough."

"What?" Vivian looks at me as if I'm crazy. She motions to the radio. "Do you not like Beethoven?"

"Oh," I look over at the radio, "no, that's not what I was talking about."

"Are you okay, Rose?" Vivian asks.

"Of course." I say and lay my head down on the cold window. Vivian notices and stops talking. Thank God for that.

I only wish what I just said to Vivian was true.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, the SUV pulls up in to the gravel driveway. The driver types in a pass code at the main gate and drives up to the house. I take out my earphones and stare up at the house, my jaw falling to the car floor. The Conta house is very modern, with three stories of some white stone and a pretty brown roof. Floor-to-ceiling windows line many of the rooms; in need of privacy. Of course, I'm also baffled by the three-car garage and stone statues of what I believe to be Cupid and some other figures. The driver pulls out of the driveway and disappears around the corner. I wonder where he is going, but quickly swipe that thought away when Vivian welcomes me inside.

If I thought the outside was amazing, the inside is just plain _stupefying_.

Each room has vaulted ceilings, high and long. The living room is something I could only dream of; with white leather couches (how there are no stains, I have no idea), and a gigantic fireplace that Santa could surely fit through. The rest of the downstairs consist of seven other rooms that I have no idea what they have in them.

Vivian leads me upstairs, which is mostly the same as downstairs. To my left is a huge room with oak doors that have owl and goddesses carvings on them. The same with white leather couches, white carpet, and a huge plasma screen TV. I follow Vivian to the end of the hall and into a darkened room. She flicks on a switch that lights up the room.

"This, Rose, is your room." Vivian says, motioning around the room.

It's not a crappy room that nannies or maids get thrown in in movies. Instead, my room has a king-size bed, plasma TV, white leather couch, a bookcase with each shelf covered with books, and floor-to-ceiling windows.

I turn to Vivian with hopeful eyes, "can I. . . look in the bathroom?"

Vivian laughs and says, "go right ahead."

I run over to the door I assume is the bathroom and flip the switch. I'm immediately overtaken with a gasp. A gigantic shower that could fit a Mini Cooper (six nozzles) and everything else a bathroom could ever need.

"Rose?" I turn back to Vivian, flipping off the switch.

"Your house is gorgeous, Ms. Conta." I tell her, a little embarrassed that I'm baffled by a house.

"Please," she says, "call me Vivian."

I nod. I think about the house that Dimitri and I had scouted that one time; how the guardians had seemed like just ordinary house guests, or so I assumed. All I really know is that I will _so _like this house.

"So why don't you unpack and make yourself comfortable." Vivian suggests. "I'll be downstairs cooking lunch."

"Don't you have. . . like, personal chefs for that?" I ask.

Vivian giggles and waves her hand. "We don't live in _complete_ luxury, Rose."

Vivian leaves the room, giving me all the time I need to give a girly squeal. I jump into the bed, wrapping my arms around plush pillows and relaxing every tense muscle I have in my body. I allow myself ten minutes to enjoy the grandeur before I start unpacking. I hang all my clothes in the walk-in closet, putting all my shoes on a rack.

I walk back over to my suitcase on the bed and start unpacking my books when I see something out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to see a little girl in the doorway of my bedroom. She has fiery red hair and emerald green eyes; very pretty for, what? A six or seven year-old?

"Hello. . . . . ?" I shut my suitcase and walk over to the red-haired girl. I bend down on my knees to get eye-level with her. "You must be. . ."

I try to find a name. I know that Vivian told me about her kids.

"Alexis Conta." The girl says.

"Ah," I say, "nice to meet you, Alexis."

"Who are you?"

I purse my lips, looking for the right words to say. "Well, I'll give it to you straight. That okay?"

"I guess so."

"I'm a temporary guardian for you and your family." I tell her. "I protect you from the danger-"

"I know what guardians do." Alexis points out.

"Sorry."

"Do you like Goldfish?"

"Do I like what?" I ask. Did I hear her right?

"The card game. You know, Goldfish?"

"Um, you mean Go Fish, right?"

Alexis scunches her nose. "I guess so."

"What about it then?"

"Do you want to play?"

"Uh. . ." I pat her shoulder. Before I have time to answer tiny Alexis, Vivian comes walking upstairs. She looks to me and then Alexis and gives a big smile.

"Rose, I guess you've met Alexis." She says motioning to the little girl in front of me.

I stand up and clear my throat. "Yes ma'am."

"Is that your name?" Alexis looks up at me, squinting her eyes.

I nod. "Rose is the name."

"I like roses." Alexis says to herself. She looks up at her mother and says, "can we plant roses in the garden?"

"Alexis, why don't you go downstairs and eat." Vivian says. The little ball of energy sprints towards the stairs without looking back.

"She's cute." I say, staring off at Alexis.

"Yes, very." Vivian agrees. "You'll meet the others at dinner."

"Not now?" I ask, a little sad.

"Wren is fourteen, you know, typical teenager." Vivian explains. "And Henry is in his room for the day."

"Oh."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes ma'am."

"There's pb and j downstairs if you want some."

I nod and walk the same path that Alexis did. I don't hear Vivian follow me so I just start walking faster and faster until I'm downstairs. Since I didn't get to eat breakfast, I'm starving; my stomach grumbling every once in a while.

The kitchen is the same as every other room. A huge space with white cushioned stools and marble counter-tops. Alexis is nowhere to be seen. I wonder if she's with a feeder. I shudder just thinking about a five year-old drinking blood. . .

A stack of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches sit on the island, and I dive right in, stuffing as many of the tiny sandwiches as my mouth will allow me to devour. I look around the kitchen, thinking about how it's probably only used by guardians and any other Dhampirs that might visit. I also think about what my life will be like here. I won't get the luxurious treatment as I am today; I'll be working my butt off to protect these four. But I do know one thing. . .

I'm going to love it here.


	12. Chapter Twelve

I wake up in a messy tangle of blankets and fluffy pillows. Light streams through the open windows. I throw on a turtle-neck sweater and shut my curtains. The Conta family lives on a normal time schedule, unlike the academy. Most of the windows in the house are tinted to keep out the harsh sunlight that Moroi can sometimes despise. It's my second day here, and already am I nervous to start my work as guardian. It's too early to start training with Jack Chang; I haven't even met him and he sounds intimidating. Though I know that I'll be the astute one. A lot of things are supposed to happen today. I'll be on my first day, learning new things and the necessaries to keep the family safe. I'll also be meeting Wren and Henry Conta for the first time. My new - and unfamiliar charges - make me worry about what they'll think of me. Surely they'll be fine with me, being a guardian and all.

_But you're not a guardian. _My mind seems to remind me.

"Shut up." I tell myself and pull on some jeans and tie my tennis shoes.

Since everyone is asleep, I tiptoe downstairs and into the kitchen. Vivian Conta must not know how to feed Dhampirs because the only things in the fridge are cheddar cheese, green grapes, and a glass of mango juice. Where's the sandwiches I had yesterday? Shouldn't there be the supplies to make more?

I take the grapes and the glass of mango juice, shoving the bottle under my arm, and shut the fridge with my foot. I make my way into the massive dining room and seat myself at the head of the table. The chairs look like thrones, with the most comfortable cushions for my bottom to sit on. I attack the grapes with vicious hunger. I never knew I could be _this _hungry in my life. Maybe it's my anxiety. . . . . ?

The grapes are gone in ten minutes, tops. I load all my dishes into the dishwasher and press the _On _button. Hopefully that'll work. Next up is searching this castle (maybe a tiny exaggeration). I walk around the rest of the bottom floor, finding another dining hall, three guest bedrooms, and an art room. Two art easels stand near the windows with in-progress pictures being painted on them. One I make out to be rows of trees in an orchard. The other I believe to be a meadow with dandelions and some other weird flower. I figure I'm not supposed to be in here, so I leave the room, shutting the door quietly behind me.

Upstairs isn't a mystery to me; bedrooms and bathrooms and a huge game room is all it is. I have no reason to go snooping up there. All the bedrooms are probably for the kids and Vivian, and Jack Chang (is he even real?). There's only two things that are a mystery to me in this house. The third floor, which I have no idea what it holds inside, and two large doors twice my size at the end of the hall. I make my way towards it and stop as soon as I'm closer to it. Like many of the other doors, the heavy oak doors have delicately carved figures on them. Angels and owls and flowers almost seeming real as they pop out of the door. I look behind my back to make sure no one sees me slip in, and then slide in.

What's behind the door is not what I expect.

It's almost like a church, but with the walls covered in books. Each wall has bookshelves reaching up to the towering ceiling. Ladders lead to balconies with even more books covering the stone walks. One wall has huge scary windows, with iron bars blocking much of the window, making shadows dance across the stone floor. It's almost as if I have walked from the modern-day to a medieval-looking library. The stone floors are paved with cracks and crevices, old rugs covering some ugly spots. A huge desk sits by the vampiric-looking window, the legs have carvings of scrawny demons reaching out, as if they're begging for help.

I crunch my nose. "definitely not my furnishing style."

What's even more weird are the arm-less and without-body statues of evil demons and naked women. I mean, talk about creepy.

"Fascinating, isn't it?" The booming voice makes me jump out my skin. I turn and scan the room for the owner of the voice. I see no one. The corners are darkened with demonic shadows that make my skin crawl.

"Who's there?" I ask, creeping along the wall, closer and closer to the door. I don't know who, or what, is hiding in this room.

A man appears from a place I had already looked at. I feel like my eyes are playing tricks on me, because for some reason, this guy is _beyond gorgeous. _Like, the kind of hot that makes girls faint. . . I think.

"Who the heck are you?" I ask.

The guy laughs and holds out his hand. "Julius Conta."

He's too young to be Vivian's husband - or so I think. If he is, I think I might just vomit from the thought. . .

"Rose Hathaway." I shake Julius' hand.

Julius gives me a flashing smile that reminds me of Adrian's flirtatious ways. His looks are different though. He has shiny brown hair and twinkling viridian eyes, - sort of like Alexis' - but they have this stone-hard look to them, like he's putting a wall to where you can't, you just can't look in his eyes.

"I thought Vivian only had three kids?"

"She does."

"Then who exactly _are _you?" I gulp and ask.

"I'm her nephew."

I give him an unsure glance. "Vivian didn't mention that her nephew would be here."

"She doesn't like to talk about me much."

"Well, Julius," I say, "you have an awesome time reading books. . . . . or whatever you do in here."

"Leaving so soon?"

"Yeah, I have to. . . . c-check the perimeter for threats." I make up the excuse right on the spot. "You know, guardian stuff."

"Ah," Julius stares at me with those dark ocean eyes. I make sure not to focus on them, though. Instead, I focus on the books behind me, "guardian stuff. I understand."

"Good for you."

"Why don't you take a book for your entertainment?" He offers.

"I can't borrow my charges' books."

"Sure you can."

"I have my own books, thank you very much."

"You don't have any of these." Julius motions around the room.

He scans the bookshelves and seems to find a particularly interesting one. He backs up and starts to fumble through the long bookshelf. It's my chance to leave this room, this scary, medieval-feeling room, and to leave Julius Conta to do whatever the heck he wants to do in this room. But there's something that keeps me here; I'm interested in what book he'll choose for me.

"Here," Julius hands me a book, "you'll enjoy it. I can see you're the kind of person that'll like this one."

I look down at my hands where Julius has placed a book. I immediately hand it back to him after barely looking at the cover.

"I am _not _reading _Romeo and Juliet_." I tell him.

Julius frowns and says, "well, why not?"

"Juliet is, what, Like thirteen or something?" When I see Julius give a slight nod, I continue, "she's thirteen and she commits suicide _because of love._"

"It's very tragic." Julius admits. "But love cannot be stopped."

"No point in killing yourself." I point out. "She could have lived, you know."

"If you loved someone with all your heart, someone you couldn't live without," Julius steps closer to me, "and that person died, or you couldn't be with him, wouldn't you kill yourself to be with The One."

I push the book away from me. "If 'The One' means I have to hang myself or stab myself, I think I'll just live through the pain."

Julius sighs and looks up at me.

"Here's how it's gonna work." Julius lifts one of my arms and tucks the small paperback under my arm. "You're going to read it, and report back to me afterwards. If you like it, I'll recommend another book; if you don't like it, I'll never have another conversation with you ever again."

I sigh as I play with the hem of my sweater. "That a promise?"

Julius puts his fingers over his heart, making an X shape with his long, slender fingers. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Whatever." I mutter and turn to leave. Julius doesn't stop me, and as soon as I hear the door shut behind me, I run back up to my room and slam the door shut. I look around the room for any signs of a living creature, nothing. I flick on the light in the bathroom and walk over to the trashcan, throwing the book in it.

"Pure and utter garbage." I say, and turn away from the trashcan. I can only keep my mind focused on one thing; one thing that I 'cross my heart and hope to die'.

That I will never speak to Julius Conta ever again.

* * *

I meet Jack Chang on the way outside to meet him. We both nod and say our hello, but it doesn't go any farther than that. He's an older male, with short-cropped black hair a deep Chinese accent. He doesn't seem bad for a fellow guardian; I'm just glad I'll have someone I like working with me.

"We'll check the perimeter first." Jack Chang informs me.

"Sure thing." I nod.

We start from the locked gate and make our way around the left side of the iron-wrought fence. Both Jack and I walk at a slow pace with our hands behind our back and our chins held high. I kind of like this feeling, like I'm a real guardian. Maybe it will not be all that bad, being away from St. Vlad's for a while. Except for the fact that I'll be seeing Julius Conta around the mansion. . . . . . .

It's a long time before we reach the back gate. I'm immediately taken a-back. Something I hadn't seen before stands right before me.

"They have a frickin' pond!" I look out at the quiet waters, the lily pads that float along with the window with no purpose at all. The green grass is perfectly shaven down to give the perfect view of a pond.

"There's a lake farther back." Jack says, pointing out to the rolling hills behind the tall gate.

"God, this is my Barbie dream house." I say with gleaming eyes.

"Excuse me," Jack says, "Barbie what?"

I wave my hand. "Nothing."

We walk the rest of the perimeter, making sure to keep in line of the protection; the dome. Once we get back to the house, Jack tells me that I'm off for the day. Seems easy enough; check the perimeter, report to Jack if I notice any mysterious activity. I return to my room with only one thought in my head; one though intruding all others. A thought where I hesitate to take action. . .

I go into the bathroom and slowly but hesitantly, pick up _Romeo and Juliet._


	13. Chapter Thirteen

I sit with my legs tucked under me on the couch and a huge smirk on my face. The peace and quiet around me never seems to dissolve, so it's easy to lose myself in thought every once in a while. I guess that's why Jack and I couldn't seem to keep our heads in the game. That, or we were both so winded up and tense, waiting to jump up and grip our stakes if needed. My real guardian work had started yesterday. I didn't have time like these to always sit back and relax. I always have to be on alert, which isn't really all that hard, and with Alexis here beside me, I needed to make sure she was safe if someone or something were to attack.

Even so, I keep one of my eyes steadily on the game in front of me. Looks to be a tie from my positions and Jack's. Jack Chang lifts his hand to make a move, and pushes his last pawn closer to my bishop.

"Your turn." I flit my eyes up at Jack and see a large grin start to form on his face. It doesn't trigger any anger whatsoever. He's my partner, the only other guardian I have. I've always been surprised by how the big family only had two guardians. Then again, there _is _a shortage on dhampir guardians. . .

I move my queen in front of his pawn, but it's not to where I can get it. Jack takes no time moving forward. . . . .

Right in front of my king.

"Checkmate," Jack says.

I really have nowhere to move. My bishops and pawns block all other ways out of the stupid place.

"Fine," I growl, "you win."

I scoop up the pieces that lay beside me - all of Jack's pawns and other pieces - and begin setting up for the next game.

"Can we play Go Fish after this?" Alexis asks, her big eyes staring up at me. I hesitate to telling her no, so instead I go another way.

"Maybe, sweetie," I pat her hand softly and she squeezes mine.

I really don't know what it is with Alexis. It was four days ago that I came here, and she already loved me. She always wanted to be beside me and help me with my dhampir duties. It's as if I have a shadow following me everywhere, no matter what.

"We can't go fishing in the pond or lake " Jack tells us, putting his king back in place.

I laugh and say, "Go Fish isn't, like, where you actually go fishing. It's a card game."

Jack grunts, "Never heard of it."

"The rules are pretty simple," I say.

"Play with Rosie and me and I can tell you the rules!" Alexis blurts out.

"We'll see," the other guardian says, which makes the edges of Alexis' mouth curl upwards. She jumps up from her spot on the floor by the couch and begins to dance around carelessly. Such a young soul with no worries.

"Ready?" Jack asks.

"Ready," I say, and start to move my pawn when the door opens.

I hear the pounding of feet against the marble-floored entrance and on the plush carpet of the living room. Two more sets of footsteps follow. I immediately jump up and grab the stake attached to my belt. I shove Alexis behind me and face whoever just came in.

Vivian.

And two other children.

I lower my weapon and shove it back in its place. Beside me, Jack stares at me with what I think is a bit of awe. Maybe he didn't expect someone like me to react so fast and swiftly. If he is impressed with me, he'd have a frickin' heart attack if he met Dimitri.

Vivian steps forward with a hard look on her. I don't know if she's happy, mad, sad, or none. She opens her mouth but doesn't say anything, which I find awkward and plain weird.

I take in the two children behind Vivian who I assume are her two other children.

The girl is about thirteen or fourteen, and has soft blonde hair that almost looks bleached from afar. The tan skin and lapis lazuli eyes make her look even more like her mother, but everything else about her screams "Self-conscious". Her entire face seems to be frowning; her eyes, her mouth, and her posture in general radiates sadness and anger.

The boy is a a great difference from the eldest girl. His dark red hair is almost brown in a way, making it look like newly polished hardwood, and his green eyes. . . it shakes me to my core that he has a slight resemble to Mason Ashford.

I recover quickly, shoving all thoughts of my dead friend in the back of my mind. I don't feel like crying or anything in front of everyone.

"Hi, Ms. Conta," I say.

"Please, Rose, call me Vivian," she tells me and I nod. "These are my other two children I told you about. Do you remember me talking about them, Rose?"

"Yes ma'am," I say.

"Well then," Vivian nods to Henry, "that's Henry." She puts her hand on the older girl's shoulder. "This is Wren."

"Hello." I wave my hand slightly.

Henry waves big and I try not to pay him any attention. Not with him looking so much like Mason. . .

Wren grunts and says, "since when did we start housing blood whor-"

"Wren!" Vivian stops her as soon as possible, a look of unbelief on her face. She looks up at me, ready to forgive for her daughter's rudeness. I raise a hand to stop her, and step closer to Wren.

"I'm Rose Hathaway." I tell her. "I'm your family's temporary guardian until your mother can find a permanent replacement to take care of your family."

"Turn around." Wren instructs me.

"What?"

"Turn around."

I turn around and feel Wren lift my ponytail. A few minutes pass before she drops my hair and sighs.

"I think of the two Molnija marks on the back of my neck, wondering what Wren thinks of them.

"No Promise mark." Wren points out. "You're still a novice."

"For a little while." I answer.

"Two words, Rose Hathaway," says Wren.

"Hm?" I say.

Wren steps closer to me so that we are only inches apart. She's shorter than me, reaching only to my chest. I don't let the fiery anger inside of me flare up; I won't get mad at a girl.

"_Not impressed_." Wren turns on her heel and storms off. As soon as she's gone, silence drops into the room. No one says anything. Instead, we all look at the place that Wren just left from.

"Rose," Vivian breaks the awkward silence, "I'm so sorry for my daughter's behavior."

"It's fine." I say.

"She doesn't mean to be offensive," says Vivian.

"Trust me, no offense is taken," I reassure her. I didn't really feel all that mad at Wren. What's it to me if some young, misled teenager says she's not impressed?

"I suppose this chess game is over." Jack says sullenly.

"I guess so." No one's in the mood to play another fun game of chess; not with what just happened. I start to walk towards the stairs, but stop when Henry steps forward.

His bright blue eyes sparkle up at me. "So you're going to be a guardian?"

"Yes."

Henry puffs out his chest, trying to act bigger and stronger. "I'm going to be a guardian too."

"Oh." Vivian looks down at her son, embarrassed.

I bend down and look at Henry. "It doesn't work that way, honey."

"Well, why not?" Henry asks.

I'm surprised that an eight year-old like Henry doesn't know about the difference between Moroi and dhampirs. Moroi don't become guardians.

I look up at Vivian and say, "I'll explain one day."

"Okay." Henry says, a little bummed out.

I don't look at Henry anymore, afraid that if I do, it'll spark unwanted memories and feelings inside of me. I glance at Jack, then Vivian, and walk to the stairs without looking back.

The whole time something stirs inside me. . .

* * *

I wait until I'm in my room to let the tears fall. Usually I wouldn't cry, but Henry's appearance had stirred that feeling that I always had when I thought about Mason.

Mason.

Is it fair that my charge's son looks my like my deceased best friend? Is it some cruel trick that my eyes are playing on me, or did I really just see a smaller version of poor Mason?

_Get a hold of yourself, Rose_. I remind myself, sniffing back the tears that came forward so easily.

Maybe I'm not crying just because of Mini-Mason. Maybe I'm crying because of Dimitri, because of the way he left with Tasha, the way he kissed me the night before he left. Maybe because I left Lissa, because Mason is dead and I was given the Molnija marks.

I don't bother getting up from my spot on the ground. Instead, I sit there and stroke the Molnija mars that I received from the killing of Isaiah and Elena. I had killed Mason's killers, the one that had snapped his neck so swiftly and gracefully. Was that something? I had avenged Mason and killed the two Strigoi that had held us captive and fed from Eddie.

No, that's not fair.

I lean against the wall and take deep, long breaths. I remind myself that it will be okay, that Mason isn't mad at me or sad because of his death. Maybe he's happy somewhere. Somewhere I know he'll be safe from the ugly hands of the Strigoi that had murdered him.

I don't know when, or how, but I soon drift off to sleep.

* * *

I wake up a few hours later and stand. The tears have long since dried, and I look in the mirror to see the wetness in my eyes. I dab at the edges of my eyes until I look fine again. I turn and look around my room, settling my eyes on the book on my bed. I pick up the paperback and walk out of my room, heading straight for the library.

I haven't talked to Julius Conta in two days. I had promised myself that I would never talk to him again, and I wouldn't. I just wanted to drop off the book and leave as fast as possible. It's strange though. Julius is never seen around the house, or with his aunt or cousins. I sometimes wonder if he's a long-dead ghost that came to haunt the Contas, but that can't be true seeing as I saw him living and breathing and all.

I slip into the room making sure that no one sees me walk in. I check each corner to make sure that Julius isn't hiding in one like he was last time. After that, I put the book back in place and begin to make my way to the door. . .

Only for it to be blocked by Julius Conta.

"Were you really going to leave without saying a 'hello, how do you do' to me?" He says, lifting an eyebrow.

"I thought you weren't here." I say.

Julius laughs and replies, "I'm almost always here."

"Good to know." I make a mental note to never come to the library again.

I stare at Julius, but not because he's handsome. He's strange to me, which is why I want to figure him out. He wears pants that would usually go with a suit, and a button-up white shirt that brings out his eyes really good.

"Did you finish it?" Julius nods towards the book in my hand. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans against one of the book-cases.

"Um, yeah." I say, staring down at the _Romeo and Juliet _cover.

"Did you like it?"

"Maybe." I eye Julius with suspicion. How old is he anyway?

Julius comes closer to me and takes the book out of my hand. He flips through all the pages and starts reading the last. "I've always liked tragedies, Rosemarie."

The fact that he knows my full name and not my nickname kind of freaks me out.

"How do you know my full name?" I ask.

"Oh please," he says, "don't think Vivian hasn't talked about you. . . over and over again."

"Oh." I say.

"Ah, here it is." He says, tapping the page. He clears his throat and begins to recite, " For never was a story of more woe; than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

"Look, Julius." I say. "I have to go check out the perimeter soon, so can I leave?"

"Go if you wish, but I _did _want to give you another book." He says, looking up at me and winking. God, what a flirt. . .

I sigh. "I have plenty of books to read."

"The Technique at How to Kill a Strigoi isn't a real book." Julius says. "So don't say a title of a book that isn't real."

"Wasn't going to."

"Then here." Julius shuts the musty book and puts it on the demonic desk. He walks over to a stack of books and picks up all three. "Here you go."

I look at the three titles of the book. _Still Star-Crossed, Hamlet_, and _Medea_.

"Wow." I say. "You really do like tragedies."

"You'll enjoy them." He says.

I look up at him and shrug. "Whatever you say."

"Come back when you finish them."

"Oh, I'm not coming back." I blurt out, feeling a little bad that I said that. "If you want to see me, you can come _out _of the library."

"I'll take it into consideration."

"I bet you will." I turn and start to leave the room, but curiosity has the better of me. I turn to Julius and ask, "how old are you anyway?"

Julius smirks and answers, "I'm nineteen."

I nod and leave the room with the three books tucked under my arm. Julius is nineteen, just a year older than me. Well, I'm _almost _eighteen. I just wonder about one more thing; something even my curiosity can't ask.

Why had I come back to the library?

Because, truthfully, I know that it wasn't to drop off _Romeo and Juliet. _


	14. Chapter Fourteen

I spend the next day walking around the perimeter with Henry on my tail. He's determined, I'll give him that, but it's ridiculous. A Moroi can't become a guardian. That's not how it works. Henry is living some unrealistic illusion that not even Vivian had told him that that wasn't how it worked. Moroi didn't fight; they didn't become guardians like dhampirs did. And even as Henry quietly strolls behind me with his hands behind his back, - perhaps that's how he thinks guardians walk - I find it hard to get up the courage to shoo him away. Instead, I let him walk gallantly with me, sometimes even letting him walk beside me as I walked a third time around the perimeter. But most of the time I just let him hang back and stay out of the way. I don't need distractions from eight year-old boys with improbable dreams. My frustration becomes even greater when Alexis decides to follow Henry. It's visible that Alexis looks up to Henry. With Alexis being so young, she needs a role model. Most kids do, and I just happen to be Henry's. I look back at my follower, my lost puppy that won't seem to go away, and give him a tight-lipped smile. Alexis walks beside Henry, a huge smile plastered on her face. Very silly of them to do this sort of them.

"Beautiful morning." I turn to see Julius fall in step with me, his arm only inches from mine. His blue-green eyes stare up at the cloudless sky. I notice how pale his skin is, and the dark spots below his eyes.

"What are _you _doing here?" I turn to make sure I'm inaudible to Henry and Alexis. It wouldn't be good for them to know that I'm at crossroads with their cousin. They'd probably be too young to understand anyway.

"Well, you _did _tell me that if I wanted to see you, I had to come out of the library." Julius announces proudly. "And so here I am, talking to you. Does that explain why I'm here?"

It's true. I had told him I wasn't coming to visit him anymore, and that he had to get out of the library. I scowl at my stupidity that lured one of the stranger, unpredictable guys to stroll along the yard with me.

"Whatever." I let myself heave a heavy sigh.

"Are you giving guardian lessons?" Julius motions to my two tiny follows.

"No, Henry's just learning the knots to being a guardian." I explain. "It's crazy, huh?"

"What's crazy?"

"The fact that a Moroi boy wants to become a guardian." I say.

"Not all that crazy." Julius says. "We all have wild dreams. . . and children have colorful imaginations."

"If you say so." I say, stopping to survey the pond, making sure that nothing is out of place.

Henry strides up to me and raises his hand above his eyebrow in a salute. "Guardian Henry Conta reporting for duty." He drops his hand and smiles up at me.

I start walking again, Julius walking beside me and Henry and Alexis further behind.

"See?" I look over at Julius. "He's on cloud nine or something."

Julius frowns. "Do you not support my cousin's dream?"

I groan and say, "your cousin needs to be introduced to reality. The Moroi _don't fight_."

"Wouldn't you like them to though?" Julius asks coolly.

I ponder that thought for a long time. Beside me, Julius says nothing. He only observes me with those striking eyes of his that I can't seem to look into. Could Moroi really have the possibility to fight alongside their guardians? It had been like that once before, but now the Moroi only wanted security and protection. Most of them didn't want to fight the Strigoi and endanger their lives. And another thought, why was I talking to Julius Conta? Hadn't I promised myself multiple times that I wouldn't come anywhere near the creep? I looked back at our conversation, thinking about how I _hadn't _been thinking about running away from him. Instead, we had had a normal conversation about Henry. . . . .

Was it possible that Julius wasn't all that creepy? That he wasn't the entire problem that I felt uneasiness around him? Or maybe it was, who knew.

"What were we talking about again?" I ask, pushing aside any thoughts of that queerness that I felt around him, about the uneasiness in my stomach.

Julius laughs and says, "nothing important, Rosemarie."

I wince. "Please, don't talk me that."

Julius frowns and runs his finger through his dark hair. I notice that his shiny brown hair is as dark as I thought it was in the library. It wasn't the darkness that the library usually had; his hair was just normally that dark color. "Why not? I like Rosemarie."

I wince again. "I prefer to be called Rose."

"I 'prefer' to call you Rosemarie," he says.

"Why?" I really need to fix that untamed curiosity that I have. Especially when I'm around Julius. I already know too much about him. If I stop with the questioning now, I will be able to ignore him while I'm guardian here. But if I keep getting to know him, we'll become friends of some sort, and then there will be no way to reverse that.

"Everyone calls you Rose, right?" Julius stares at me. I nod, confirming the question. "Okay. Everyone calls you Rose, not Rosemarie. I like to call you Rosemarie because. . . . . because I want to be different from the others."

I feel something in my stomach. More uneasiness? I'm not sure what it is. "Trust me, you're already different." I cover up that feeling by making a joke, which I know is wrong when Julius is telling me something so serious.

Julius shrugs off the joke. I don't know whether he takes it as a compliment or an insult, but I regret it.

All four of us reach the front door. Henry stands beside me with a stern expression on his face.

"What?" I ask him with furrowed eyebrows.

"What's next, Boss?"

"Um," I exchange looks with Julius, "lunch."

Henry frowns. "Well, that's. . . is this all guardians do?"

"No."

"Then off we go!"

I stare at Henry as he leads Alexis into the house.

* * *

I pick at the sandwich in front of me, that uneasiness in my stomach won't let the food settle in my stomach. I look up to see Julius staring at me intensely. For a moment our eyes hold, but he quickly breaks the connection and plays with his fumbling fingers.

"Aren't you hungry?" I ask him, taking a tiny bite of my turkey sandwich.

Julius concentrates on the polished dining room table. "Yes."

"Why don't you go eat?" I ask.

"It would be rude to leave you by yourself."

"Trust me, I'll be fine."

"So will I." He murmurs.

I turn my attention from Julius to the dining room around me. The other day when I had explored the house, I hadn't taken in all the details and pretty decorations that filled each room. Like every other room, the dining room had white walls, and a long window that showed off gorgeous blue Primroses. Paintings of old Moroi queens and kings and bowls of fruit lined the wall, neatly placed so that each one had its deserved amount of space. I surveyed the one painting where a strawberry had been perfectly shaped. I can't draw worth a crap, which is why it interests me that painters can capture the realistic features of fruit. . .

"Do you like art?" Julius asks, flicking a stolen cracker at me.

"Sort of." I say. "And don't play with my food." I put the salty cracker in my mouth and chomp down on it.

"Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Claude Monet. All very famous artists." Julius says, eyeing me the entire time.

"Is there ever a time you're not using that wisdom and intelligence?"

"What can I say?" Julius says. "I'm brilliant."

"Can I, like, turn you off or something?"

"Hm, I'm not a wind-up toy, Rosemarie." He says with a wink.

"Do you even _have _an off button?"

Julius ponders that for a moment. "Depends on what you mean by 'off'."

"It means that I can shut you up for an hour or two."

Julius shrugs and gives me one of those winning smiles. "Anything for you, Rosemarie."

I catch myself staring at him and mentally chastise myself for gazing. It's not because Julius is handsome, but that in the few times I've talked to him - and this being the first time I've actually hung out with him - I realize he is very open to anything, to any topic or subject. Though I haven't tested the limits of his openness. The fact that he flirts like it's completely normal and talks about books and art and crap like that just shows that I could talk to him about more than just light topics. Maybe. . .

I notice that Julius is staring at me. Well, behind me actually. I turn my head slightly and look at a door near the kitchen. I assume that's where a feeder is or something. I glance over at Julius and see his longing to go. I push my plate into the middle of the table and clear my throat.

"All done." I announce, standing and dropping my napkin on the table.

Julius looks up at me questioningly.

"You can go now." I say, not knowing whether to mention that he should probably go visit that room. Julius doesn't hesitate, and I don't stop him as he walks past me.

As he walks by, I hear him say something in the faintest whisper: "Goodbye, Rosemarie."

As soon as he's gone, that uneasy feeling drops out of my stomach and vanishes. It's not long after that I hear a door shut behind me. Pictures flash in my mind of Julius standing over some girl, punctures in her neck and blood drizzling from his mouth. A shiver runs down my spine and I push away the haunting pictures. I turn to see Vivian staring at me with a weird look on her face.

"Oh!" I place a hand on my chest. "You scared me."

Vivian looks at where Julius had just disappeared, to me. "I'm, um, sorry."

She glances between the closed door and me again.

I raise an eyebrow. "Is there something you need?"

"Oh! Oh, yes!' Vivian says, looking relieved as if she just remembered something important. She holds up a powdery white envelope.

"Your mother sent you a letter."

My heart drops.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

My heart pounds. My palms sweat.

Okay, so maybe it's not that big of a deal. But the fact that I didn't inform her about this, and I hadn't consulted her for approval or something like that. I look up at Vivian who gives me a comforting smile.

"Is everything okay, Rose?" Vivian asks, noticing the look on my face. I don't know what I look like. Scared? Nervous? Anxious?

"Um, yeah. I think so," I say. "I think I'm gonna deal with this in my room."

I don't wait a second for Vivian's answer. Instead, I turn on my heel and run towards the living. I climb the stairs at an amazing speed, and am in my bedroom in just seconds. I kick the door shut behind me with my foot, and collapse on to the soft comforter of my bed. I stare at the creme colored envelope, the scent of dust filling my senses. It must have spent a lot of time in the back of a UPS truck or something.

_Okay, Rose. You can do this_. I give myself a little pep talk. It can't be that bad, right? So what if I didn't tell the woman who gave birth to me about suddenly leaving St. Vladimir's and taking over as a guardian for a royal family?

And with that, all my courage disappears.

_You have to do this. _

I can't sit around forever and _never_ open the letter. I mean, I'll have to. Otherwise I'll nag myself until I eventually open this. Besides, it's better if I get this over with now. Now, and not later.

"Come on, Rose," I whisper to myself. "Just do it."

With one more deep breath, I rip open the envelope and pull out the letter. The words scribbled on the same creme-colored paper as the envelope are big and cursive, and very sturdy. No sign whatsoever that this was rushed or anything. Maybe Janine took writing lessons.

* * *

_Rose,_

_ Heard about your new charge. I'm proud of you. Don't mess up._

_ Yours,_

_ Janine Hathaway_

* * *

Well, I think to myself. That's not as bad as I thought it would be. . .

I reread the letter six more times before letting it fall into my lap. The letter, the writing, everything about it shows that it was definitely written by Janine. Not that I have any doubt, mind you.

_I'm proud of you_.

Those. Those are the words that surprise me the most. Not the fact that my mother actually took the time out of her day to write me a 'short but sweet' letter, but that she actually gave me a compliment. I mean, it totally takes me by surprise that she said such a thing. Maybe Janine isn't half as bad as I thought she was.

Maybe our relationship was becoming a little bit better.

I folded up the small piece of paper and put it neatly into my back pocket. It feels good just knowing that I got a little praise from Janine. Also, it feels like I'm carrying a little piece of home with me.

Home. What was home. Or _where _exactly did I call home. St. Vladimir's, maybe, but it was more than that. My home was where Lissa was. Lissa, Adrian, Eddie, and even the little cramp in my side that we all liked to call. . . Christian. And there's many more people that are home. Mia, Janine, and whoever else I care about. Though. . . it really just makes me realize how homesick I really am.

I lean back on my pillows and stare up at the high ceiling. I force myself to focus, to concentrate. And sure enough, I slip into Lissa's mind in a time of six seconds.

Surprisingly, Adrian, Lissa, and Christian are sitting in a room with all the other St. Vladimir students. Moroi and dhampir alike. I wish that Lissa would look around so I could get a better look at things, but she's focused on the front of her. In the huge room, all chairs point towards front of the room, where an raised platform stands.

_What the heck is going on?_

Headmistress Kirova appears a few minutes later, and I fear that whatever she has to say, won't be good. Through our bond, I can tell Lissa is feeling the same thing.

Kirova raises her hands. "Students, students! Quiet, please."

The room settles down, the academy students all anxiously awaiting for whatever Kirova has to say, good or bad. Wait, I think to myself, realizing something. From Lissa's seat, all I can see are _students_. Why the heck is Adrian there!?

"What's going on?" An unfamiliar voice shouts from behind Lissa, somewhere. Other voices join in, yelling for answers.

In the small chaos that is erupting in the room, Kirova is the sign of calmness and peace. Wow, never thought I'd see _that_.

"Please, settle down," Kirova says. The room is huge, yet she doesn't yell; she talks in her ordinary voice, but it echoes just loud enough for everyone to hear. "You were called here, a meeting, to discuss some very important matters."

"Like what!" A voice yells at Kirova, making another round of shouting flare up. Lissa and I share the same frustration over the yelling. All I want to know is what in the world is going on. Same with Lissa.

Kirova clears her throat. "As we know, St. Vladimir's is highly protected. Wards, guardians, and gates surrounding the academy. There's no need to be alarmed, but there was a Strigoi attack a few miles away from the school."

Lissa's hand squeezes Christian's, and they both tighten their grip. She has no idea what to feel. Confusion. Fear. Frustration. It all comes rushing to her at once.

"No need to worry, students," Kirova says with a calming smile on her face. "There have been no sign of the Strigoi since two nights ago. Our sources are positive that the Strigoi are _not _heading in our direction. But just to be safe, the academy will be taking security measures."

"Strigoi so close to the academy?" Lissa leans in towards Christian, a desperation to keep the fear out of her voice. "How are they sure their not heading _here_?"

Christian shakes his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes. "I have no idea."

"From now on, there will be _no _leaving the academy grounds. Also, please travel in small groups. No one should be alone until we're positive that the Strigoi are. . ." Kirova gulps, looking for the right words. ". . . Gone. Also, we'll be doubling the number of guardians in the dorm rooms, so you will _always _be safe and have a guardian nearby in case of emergency."

Before any chaos or mobs can flare up, Kirova adds, "you're excused."

The students pile out of the meeting hall, Lissa tightly gripping Christian's hand as he leads her out of the building. She spares a glance behind her, happy to see that Adrian is following them with a lazy smile on his lips. The trio make it out of the building without being trampled or stomped on, which I guess is a good sign.

That's when the shouting begins.

Moroi and dhampirs argue and yell, everyone having their own opinions. Lissa immediately tenses up, and walks even faster to the outskirts of the chaotic crowds. She leads Christian and Adrian a little further out of the way, and then they start walking towards her dorm.

"This is absurd!" Lissa blurts out, spinning around to face Christian.

"Lissa, it's-" Christian starts to say, but she cuts him off.

"What happens if the Strigoi plan on attacking _us_?" Lissa asks him, a lump forming in her throat. "What are we going to do then?"

"We could fight," Adrian offers, sticking a cigarette in his mouth. It's obvious he's been drinking.

"Not helping," Christian says to Adrian. He then turns to Lissa and says, "we'll figure out something, Liss."

"Like what?" She asks him. All she wants is an answer. One simple answer from someone she trusts. That's all.

Christian opens his mouth as if to say something, but soon realizes. . . what is there to say? "I don't know, Lissa."

"Ugh. I wish Rose was here."

_I do too, Lissa. Trust me, I do too. . . _

For a minute, everything is quiet. It's as if Lissa had heard me and we were sharing a moment through the bond. I want to be there, to comfort her and tell her I was here for her. I could tell her a plan to protect her and everyone else. I would do something, anything, to be there and be able to tell her she'll be okay.

"Look," Christian says. "The best we can do is wait and find out some more news."

"But we can't just sit around and do nothing!" I'm surprised Lissa actually says something like that. It makes me proud of her in so many ways.

Christian sighs. "Rose is rubbing off on you."

"So?"

"That's never good."

"Hey!" Lissa playfully shoves Christian's shoulder. He laughs and pulls her in to a hug.

"We're gonna be okay, Liss." He says, tracing patterns on her small bone. "I promise. I'll protect you."

"Okay." Lissa says, and a small part of her believes he will. Actually, every part of her believes him. If I can't protect her, then he will. It reminds me of the short exchange I had had with him before I left.

_Take care of Lissa for me. _I had said. Here was his chance, and I gave all my trust into the Ozera boy to take care of my best friend, my sister almost.

_Rose, I don't know what to do. I wish you were here to tell me. _

It's as if she knows I'm watching her, seeing through her eyes because of the bond. The stupid one-way bond ruined me to send her anything back telepathic. For once, I'm actually regretting the decision to come here.

"I don't like this one bit," says Lissa, chewing on her bottom lip. "But, I guess we can't really do anything now."

Christian pulls a piece of her golden hair out of her face, putting it neatly behind her ear, then running his fingers down her cheek. "It'll be okay, Lissa."

Lissa nods and says, "I know. Maybe we-"

I'm immediately pulled out from Lissa's mind and back into my own. It feels weird, being in my body. Everything I just experienced doesn't seem real, like it was all a dream. A Strigoi attack near the academy? How could that be real? I think for a long, hard time until I realize someone is yelling at me.

"Rose! C'mon, wake up!" I come out of my daze and look the person in front of me straight in the eyes. Those gorgeous, er - nice-looking viridian eyes.

"J-Julius?" I mumble, my mind a complete and utter mess.

"Oh thank God, Rose." Julius collapses backwards, falling on his knees. "You. . . you scared me there for a minute."

"You were worried about me?" I ask, disbelief in my voice.

Julius looks up and runs his hands through his dark brown hair. "Who wouldn't?"

I don't think about it much. Only that a boy I met two days ago is worried about me. . . Then again, wouldn't any person be worried if some girl went into a complete dream-like daze? I wonder how long he's been sitting there, staring at me, yelling my name. . .

"How long were you doing that?" I ask.

Julius shrugs and replies, "ten minutes, maybe?"

I nod. Then something else strikes me. "Er, did you walk into my room without knocking?"

"I knocked!" Julius says a little too defensively. "No one answered."

I feel a smile creep up on my face. "So you just walked in here?"

"I guess."

"Boys." I scoff. "Such perverts."

"Hey!" Julius stands, and points a finger at me. "I was making sure you were okay. . . Are you okay?"

I stand and look up at Julius; he's much taller than me. "I'm fine, Julius. Thank you."

We stand there and stare at each other for a minute.

"What do you need?" I ask.

"Huh?" Julius stares at me, as if making sure that I really am fine.

"You knocked, so that means you probably need something."

Julius furrows his eyebrows, realizing he had come here for a reason, I think. "Oh, uh, yeah."

"So?"

"So what?"

"What do you need?"

"Oh," Julius takes a deep breath. "Uh, never mind, Rosemarie. I'll, uh, talk to you later."

Julius leaves a few seconds later; I stare at his back as he shuts the door behind him. Okay, so I'm sure about two things. One, something is wrong at the academy. Something that I'm not there for. And two, Julius had wanted to say something that made him run scared. It was inevitable. Something was definitely wrong with Julius. But I can't worry about that. I promised myself I would avoid Julius.

* * *

Jack grabs me and flings me on the floor, my back slamming into the polished hardwood floor. I groan, shots of pain running down my spine. I haul myself off the floor.

"Again," I say to Jack, readying my fists for the next fight.

Jack smiles, obviously approving of my determination. "You don't give up easily, do you, Rose?"

I shake my head, scowling at the loosened hair that falls into my face. "Never in my lifetime, Jack. I won't go down without a fight."

"Never?" Jack raises an eyebrow.

"Never," I confirm.

Jack shrugs and replies with, "okay, let's go again."

I ready myself again, letting the anger that I'm not with Lissa fuel me. The confusion over Julius, too. I watch Jack, but it's over he's not going to make the first move. He's waiting. Waiting for me to lunge towards him. Of course, that's what I do during fights, so I move to the left and Jack moves to the right. I take another step, watching Jack start to move away from me again, and I go to my right instead and lunge at him. I grip the collar of his shirt and flip him over on the mat.

He jumps up, shoving me back with only one of his hands while he gets a good grip on his stake (fake, of course). I stare at him with vicious eyes, waiting for him to make the next move. Every move he makes I watch closely, registering that he's a fighter. And a good one at it.

"Go, Rosie!" Alexis screams from the other side of the room. I turn and give her a tight-lipped smile. Jack grabs me and shoves me to the floor.

_Crap!_ I think to myself, the palms of my hand smacking into the wood, my stake flying to the other side of the room.

I focus on Jack, on pushing him off. I use all my power, my strength, to push him off. I jump up and stumble a little, little black spots in my vision. Wow, he really pushes me. I shake myself and dive for my fake stake. As I roll over on the floor, Jack lunges towards me, flopping on the floor where I just was. I roll back over on top of him and hold the stake to his throat.

I huff and puff, my body complaining. "How was that?" I ask, pride in myself.

"You did good, Hathaway. I'll admit that." says Jack.

I stand up from Jack and walk over to where Henry and Alexis sit cross-legged on the floor. Henry raises his hand and I high five him.

"Point for Rose!" I yell out, a big smile on my face.

"I'll be doing that one day," Henry says dreamily. "You'll see."

I pat Henry's head and wink at him when he looks up at me. "Keep at it, Henry."

He smiles at me. "I will, Rose." He salutes to me.

I give Henry my fake stake, and turn to face Jack. "Let's take a little break. That okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Jack's voice is dry, and his face resembles a red Asian tomato. Wait, is that even a real thing?

I walk over to the bench and grab my water bottle, chugging down the liquid as much as I can at a time. God, that tastes so good.

"What's going on in here?" I glance over at the door, seeing a familiar face looming over me.

"We're play-fighting, Julie." I laugh out loud at Alexis' nickname for Julius. I look at him just in time to see a blush rising in his cheeks.

"Play-fighting," Jack says, trying the word out on his tongue. "Huh, that's a way to put it."

I roll my eyes and say to Julius, "Jack and I are training. You know, guardian stuff."

"Pfft." Julius waves his hand at me. "Guardian stuff? Anybody could fight."

"Oh, really?" I prop my hands on my hips. "Would you care to explain that 'anybody can fight'?"

"What?" Julius shrugs. "I mean, I could take on one of you any day of the week."

I scoff. "Fine. If you think so, you'll go against Jack here. Just don't get a big head, because when you lose you'll come crying to me."

"Whatever, Rosemarie." Julius walks over to the middle of the room where Jack awaits. I sit down on the floor beside Henry and Alexis.

"Go, Julie!" Alexis chants. Henry joins in, and soon I do. We're all chanting for 'Julie' to win.

"Ready, set, go." I yell, and Julius grabs for Jack. Jack gracefully jumps out of the way, grabs Julius by the shoulders, and flips him all the way over. Julius flops to the ground, motionless. I stand up and walk over to him, standing over his face. He looks up at me and exhales deeply.

"F.Y.I, it's Thursday," I say to him. "Guess not _every _day."

Julius growls and, expectantly, grabs me and throws me to the ground. I burst into laughter, rolling over so I'm laughing into his shoulder.

"See," Julius motions to me and him. "I'm not that bad."

I nod. "Okay, okay. Whatever, but if I were a Strigoi, this wouldn't end well. Strigoi don't laugh."

Julius rolls on to his knees so he's looming over me. "You're good, Rosemarie. Very good."

I realize the position we're in. Him sitting over me, me gazing up at him, a big, silly grin on my face. I clear my throat and sit up, tucking my feet under me. When I think about what just happened, I don't think _awkward_. I don't know what I feel, really. I can only focus on the closeness of our bodies, how warmth radiates off him. The scent of his cologne that smells like dark chocolate fills my senses; his eye gazing down at me. I immediately move once I realize what I had thought just seconds ago, and Julius stands.

"Well," he says, "this was fun."

No one, not even I, have a chance to answer before he stalks out of the room. Strange, I think. Te

"What's wrong with Julius?" Henry asks, perplexed.

"Uh," I wonder myself what's wrong. Was he thinking the same thing as I was? The closeness, the scent, everything? I scold myself for thinking such things, and once again I want to slap myself for breaking my swear. . . again. Would I ever learn to stay away from Julius, like I had promised myself? "His, er, man pride is hurting. . . ?"

What did I just say?

Henry seems to agree. Of course, I turn to look at Jack who's just studying me.

I glare at him and say, "I'm not a test subject, you know. Stop staring at me!"

"Let's get back to work, Hathaway," says Jack, walking out of the room like Julius did. I let out a low growl, and run out of the room myself. I head for the only place I know I can be alone in. My bedroom.

I walk down the hall, glancing at the closed doors that lead to the library, and climb the stairs - not as fast as when my mother had sent me a letter. My room is untouched, like always, and I stare at the bed where I was sitting, where Julius had found me staring off into space.

_Enough, Rose, _I scold myself, and rush into the bathroom, turning the shower nozzle on and cleansing myself with the four different showerheads. Once I'm out, I dress in sweat pants and a maroon tank top and climb into bed, my body collapsing on to the soft mattress. Though my body may seem tired, my mind is wide awake. The wheels in my head turning so much that I wish I could just shut myself down. I think about Lissa and all my friends at the academy, Strigoi closing in on them, maybe. I think about how weird it is that I'm always running into Julius. I think about the strange, but undeniable, attraction I may or may not have with him.

Lastly, I think about Dimitri.

Dimitri, someone I had loved so much, and had run off with someone else. It's been a while since I've thought about the gorgeous Russian god. It's funny how easily I'm forgetting things here, too tied up in my business - and drama - to think about that. But it's inevitable to that I'll think about Dimitri, the love of my life who may still be, and to think of Julius, who I met only a few days ago and I already feel close to him.

Questions, doubts, all things I can't avoid. I can't ignore my feelings forever. It'll come back to haunt me if I do. So much to think about. My lingering love for Dimitri, the loss of Mason, the oncoming Strigoi at St. Vladimiri's, and Julius, who I'm having a lot of inner turmoil thinking about. _Ugh, what do I do? _I complain to myself as I roll over on to my stomach and drop my face into the firm pillow. My wet hair falls around me, stringy and a mess of brunette.

Surprisingly, I find myself starting to drift off, despite the state of mind I'm in.

I eventually fall asleep, but soon see the shimmering of my dreamless sleep turn into a Spirit-induced dream. I almost yell out in frustration. I mean, can't I just sleep, but then a thought pops into my head. A spirit dream means-

"-Adrian!"


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**One hundred followers! Y'all are super, duper awesome!**

I rush into the arms of the Ivashkov boy, a big, goofy grin breaking out on both our faces. We embrace for such a long time, like nothing could seperate us. Sure, I bet Adrian is thinking that I'm going to swoon any minute, but any part of home I can fine, I'll take it without question. I take in Adrian's warmth, his scent of clove-scented cigarettes - that I actually sort of miss - and strong cologne. I back up to face Adrian completely, noticing how much warmer it was when I was hugging him.

I look at my surroundings, noticing we're standing over a thick layer of angelic white snow, a nearby pond frozen from the cold weather. Fir trees surround me, dark green covering up the long, demonic branches that look like they're reaching out for me. Snow piles on the branches, making the trees lean in awkward directions.

"Little dhampir," Adrian says. He looks handsome in the thick black jacket and his hair slicked back, little snowflakes almost making a pattern in his hair.

"Oh, God," I say. "God, I've missed you. . . All of you."

"More than you're letting on?" Adrian asks with a raised eyebrow.

"More than you'll ever know," I say, hugging him again. Adrian wraps his arms around me, and I'm able to feel his chest rise and fall with each breath. I look up at him. Just seeing something familiar makes my heart skip a beat every once in a while. It feels so good to see someone I know.

"I have to say," Adrian says. "You stand out in this snow."

"Huh?" I ask, and look down at my outfit. A black cashmere sweater and black jeans; the complete opposite of the wintry landscape. I look up at Adrian. "Well, at least this time you picked something that I might _actually _wear."

"Beautiful as always," Adrian comments, mostly to himself.

I look around the forest again, breathing in the crispy cold air. It's beautiful, the white snow and everything else about it. I bend down and touch the snow, quickly bringing my hand back to me.

I stand and face Adrian. "Maybe next time you can make it St. Vladimir's?" I ask, hopeful.

Adrian gives me a mischevious smile. "Little dhampir, I didn't know you liked school."

"I don't," I say. "But I want to see it."

"Is winter wonderland not perfect enough?" Adrian asks, motioning around the snow-covered forest.

I walk up to him and smile. "For now, it is," I say.

"How's your job?" Adrian asks, taking my hand and strolling over to the frozen pond. I stare out over the frozen water. I swear, if this were a real dream, I might just get frostbite.

I take a deep breath, inhaling the air that I can't get enough of. "It's great, actually." I can't bring myself to admit I'm homesick.

"Tell me about the Conta's," Adrian says.

"Um, well, okay," I say, closing my eyes and thinking about my charges'. "Well, there's Vivian Conta; I don't see much of her, though. Her three kids, Wren, Henry, and Alexis. The young ones are cute, but it's obvious Wren doesn't like me."

"Ah, drama," Adrian says with a deep, happy sigh.

I roll my eyes. "Then there's Jack Chang. He's not a Conta; he's a guardian. And then. . . there's Julius."

I don't know if there was something in my voice when I said Julius' name, but Adrian's eyes snap open and he studies me with green eyes almost exactly like Lissa's. "Who is this Julius?"

"Vivian's nephew," I say. "I barely know him," I add quickly, not wanting Adrian to get any ideas about Julius and me.

Adrian stares at me, scanning my face for any emotion. I make sure to wipe my face of anything. I don't want Adrian finding out what I feel about Julius when I don't even know what I feel about him myself.

"God, Adrian," I say when I see him staring intently at me. . . again. "Stop staring at me like I'm a freaking test subject!"

Adrian shrugs. "Just looking, little dhampir."

I turn away from Adrian and take a minute to forget about everything going on where I am. _Forget it, Rose. Forget Julius, all of them. _I repeat in my mind over and over again, until I'm finally able to push back everything that involves them. I take a few more deep breaths.

And that's when I remember.

I turn on my heel - which is really hard, considering the realistic snow in the dream - and look at Adrian. "St. Vladimir's," I murmur, my breath making little wisps from the fake, but cold, air.

"Hm? What'd you say?" Adrian asks, taking a cigarette out from his pockets. I ignore the clove smell and focus on what I just remembered.

"You were with Lissa and Christian," I explain, "when they announced Strigoi were nearby."

Adrian freezes, his lit cigarette just inches from his mouth. He flicks the cigarette away and faces me, a mischevious smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Little dhampir, have you been _spying_?"

"No," I answer a little too quickly.

Adrian raises an accusing eyebrow.

I bite my lip and roll my eyes. "Okay, fine. Yes, I've been 'spying'. But only because I need to check up on Lissa."

Adrian only smirks at me.

"What!" I throw my hands in the air, letting them fall to my sides. "Why are looking at me like that!"

"No reason," says Adrian, and a scowl crosses his face when he realizes he's without a cigarette.

"Don't tell Lissa," I tell him. "She doesn't it like it when I'm in her head."

"I doubt anybody likes someone else in their head. Brain surgeons, for instance," Adrian says matter-of-factly.

"So, what's going on at St. Vlad's?" I ask, using the short name for the Moroi school.

"Uh, nothing that concerns you," Adrian says, scoping out the landscape.

I stomp over to Adrian, frigid snow flying in all directions. "You tell me right now, Adrian Ivashkov, or I'm leaving!"

Adrian hesitates, but after a few minutes, he says, "yes, mother."

I don't even blink.

"Fine," Adrian says. "There's been a recent string of attacks, all Strigoi-related. And that long string if victims are. . . leading to the school."

I can't believe my ears. Okay, sure. I heard it myself when I was in Lissa's head. But they didn't reveal that there were a bunch of victims. I manage to keep myself stable and keep pressing Adrian for questions.

"How. . . how many victims?" I ask.

Adrian sighs. "Ten, maybe twelve," he says.

My head spins, and I suddenly feel dizzy. I walk over to a tree, holding on to a trunk for stability. At least until my head stops spinning. _Ten, maybe twelve_. That's a lot of Strigoi, a dozen, maybe. A dozen Strigoi attacks, all leading to the academy. . .

And Lissa.

But it doesn't make sense. Strigoi don't travel in groups. It's more of a lone-wolf type of thing. Strigoi don't band together. But what about last time? They were in a group, right? Yes, they were. The reason we went to that winter lodge was because of a band of Strigoi. Two Strigoi? No problem. A dozen? A little bit harder.

"But it just doesn't make sense," I mouth my thoughts before I can stop myself. I spare a glance at Adrian who's just watching me closely, ready to jump in and help if I need it. I wave my hand in his direction. "I'm fine, Adrian. Just. . . feeling sick."

"I should have never told you," Adrian mumbles as he walks off to the edge of the pond.

"I would have found out eventually!" I yell after him, jogging to catch up. "You know that."

"Yes, but it would have been better if I hadn't told you," Adrian says. "Lissa will probably be angry with me."

"Why?" I ask. "Does she want to keep this a secret from me?"

Adrian shakes his head. "That's none of your business, Rose."

"That's the problem," I say. "It _is _my problem."

"Rose-"

"Tell me," I demand, a stern expression on my face.

Adrian hesitates. He avoids having to look at my face. I can understand why. I probably look pretty mad or something. "Lissa's happy for you. You're a guardian, and you have a temporary placement with those gossiping Conta's. It'll give you a better chance at being her guardian when you graduate. If you find out - like you just did - you'll freak out and come rushing back to the academy, to her. You'll be irrational to leave that place; Lissa doesn't want that."

"Of course I'll be irrational," I say. "I need to be there for Lissa, don't you understand? I _need _to be there to protect her!"

"Rose, please," Adrian says. "She's protected. They're doubling security and the guardian count, and the guardians will be watching out for any signs of mysterious activity. Trust me, she's protected."

"I need to be there, Adrian," I tell him.

"No, you _want _to be there," says Adrian. "Trust me, you won't be doing any good by coming back. At least not now."

"She'll feel safe," I reply.

"She is safe!" Adrian shouts. "Rose, what will you do? We all know you can fight, why do you need to prove yourself?"

I take a step back, taken by the fact that Adrian is. . . well, angry. "I'm not trying to prove myself. It's my job to protect Lissa."

"Right now, your job is to protect those Conta's."

"They have Jack," I reply stubbornly. I won't take no for an answer. I need to be with Lissa, protect her and keep her safe and secure.

"Yeah?" Adrian says, leaning against a tree. "And what is one guardian going to do against a dozen Strigoi, Rose? Huh? You think about that? St. Vladimir's has probably more than one hundred guardians. That family you're guarding? Well, they only have _two_. What will happen if you leave and the Strigoi attack them? Tell me, Rose? What will happen to them?"

I think about it. He has a point, even though I hate to admit it. If I leave the family I'm currently guarding to go and be with Lissa, they'll only have Jack. It might be a long time before they find another guardian, and by then, they might be dead. A Strigoi's meal.

"You're. . . you're right," I speak indistinctly.

"I know I am," Adrian replies. "Just think about it, Rose. And when I visit you the next time, I want your answer. Leave to protect Lissa who's already protected, or let that family die at the hands of the Strigoi."

"Adrian, I-"

Before I can finish what I'm saying, the dream begins to shimmer, Adrian and the snow-covered landscape disappear, and I'm left in darkness. Left to a dreamless night and my thoughts.

_What am I gonna do?_

* * *

Apparently, this is the week for letters. I receive one more envelope addressed to me from Vivian, who hands me each letter with a big, smile on her face. I look at the cover of the one and only letter.

_Lissa Dragomir._

I don't open the letter until I'm in a private room. I surprise myself when my conscience leads me to the library, my mind handling too much to pick a better location. Before I sit down, I scan the room to make sure Julius isn't in here. When I'm satisfied he's not currently in my presence, I take a seat at the demonic desk, propping my feet on the oak table. I throw the envelope on the desk; it scatters over the smooth surface. I look at the letter from Lissa. Always will she come first.

* * *

_Dear Rose,_

_God, I miss you. . . That's not what I meant to put first, though. Rose, I'm so confused. There's so much going on at St. Vladimir's, good and bad - nothing you should worry about. But it's all so much to handle. You understand the feeling, right? Oh, God, if you were here, you could tell me what to do. I'm just so, so confused. You would know what to do about these problems. Not all of them are mine, either. Some are much bigger problems than that of what to wear. . . I shouldn't be joking. _

_I need you, Rose._

_I hear myself, re-reading the letter over and over again. Listen to how selfish I'm sounding. I should be asking you how you are, is the job fun, and whether or not the Conta family has any cute boys. I sometimes wish we were normal, ordinary, so we could talk about those kind of things. I'll send you more soon. It'd be easier if we could talk on the phone. I can't get ahold of one right now, though. Besides, it's easier to write things down than to text you my problems. Come back soon, Rose. Please._

_In the meanwhile, kick some butt and do what you do best. _

_Be a guardian. . . _

_Yours Sincerely, Lissa_

* * *

I stare at the letter, looking at the pretty cursive-writing of Lissa. If only I could tell how much I miss her too. I remind myself to get to work on writing a letter back to her. Not now, but later. I think about what Adrian said, about leaving the Conta's to their death. But, what if the Strigoi don't come for them? I sigh and shake my head, picking up the envelope and shoving the letter back inside. I stand from the desk and walk over to the creepy floor-to-ceiling window, staring out at the snow that falls. Hopefully it'll stop soon.

I get out of the library when I think I've been in there too long. It's Julius' turf, and I don't want him catching me. I'm finally taking action in avoiding him for as long as I can and as much as I can. For the rest of the day, the Conta family seems to be hanging out in their rooms. It's one of those days that drag on, and it sucks because just last night I was enjoying myself, with Adrian. Well, mostly. At least until I made him tell me the truth about the Strigoi.

And truthfully, I'm in complete and utter turmoil.

I have no idea what to do. Pick Lissa, the person I've known all my life, the closest thing I have to a sister, my bondmate, or the Conta family, the ones that desperately need my protection. As much as I despise having to admit it, I know that the Conta's need me more. More than Lissa does at the moment. _It's complicated. _And really, it is. All of it is complicated. Every time I weigh my options, there's always something that tips the scale and messes me up. Who do I choose? How _can _I choose? To decide between Lissa and the Conta's is hard, because I know Adrian is right.

_What will happen if you leave and the Strigoi attack them? Tell me, Rose? What will happen to them?_

"God, Adrian," I say to myself. "I highly dislike you right about now."

I have two choices. The last living Dragomir princess who brought me back to life when I died, or the Moroi family that I'm with right now. The ones that need me the most. Lissa has protection, lots of it, actually. The Conta have only Jack, and me. How is that fair if I leave them for a girl who has enough security and protection already?

I can already tell my decision will be hard to make, because these Conta's are great. But Lissa is everything. Her and Dimitri were the two things that I lived for. Still do. But she's safe at St. Vladimir's, surrounded by trained guardians, ready to fight with their stakes and their strength, for Lissa and all the other Moroi and dhampirs in the school. They would risk their lives to protect her. She has dozens upon dozens of dhampir guardians willing to _die _for her. But these Conta's? They only have two willing guardians, and that's not a lot at all. It's unfair, and it's dangerous. And quite frankly, my decision might affect whether or not they live or die. Is that fair? Absolutely not. But it's nessecary for me to stay here, keep Henry and Alexis and Wren and everyone else safe. And knowing that I can protect these people makes me want to do it. It makes me want to prove to Adrian that I'm not acting selfish. I'm not going to be irrational. That's the old Rose. I'm mature now, brave and willing to sacrifice lots of things for these people. Including my life.

It's difficult, and I'm still having my doubts, but I truly believe that if I stay, I can save these people from the murdering, savage hands of the Strigoi. The Strigoi are heartless, and they'll tear out little Alexis' throat as fast as they can. It's all a matter of time before we discover if the Strigoi come after the academy, and maybe, just maybe, they come after us. It's important that I'm here with them, protecting them from the evil clutches of the undead. Even if they don't come, I can protect them. If I'm here, I can save Alexis from the Strigoi.

I can save them all.


End file.
